Sheez Neez

Well...it's Friday. Dailah is feeling much better after her fever broke, so that is a huge relief!

I wish someone could slap me right now. I got on our forum (slap) and just noticed someone else got a March 13th travel date. On that thread another person (slap for noticing) mentioned that her representative told her there were 9 other families going that week too. Since no one has talked to us about going that week, (unless they read my blog and then the answer is "yes") one can assume we are not included in that 9 family count (slap, slap). This flippin' blows..pardon my language.

It's all about expectations, and total misconstrued perception of time on my part. I expected to go earlier. That's heart break #1. When I look at the calender and see March 20th or 27th (two other possible dates should our paperwork hustle up) I see that it's still ONLY a month away. My head tells me, "Tesi, a month is not long, a month is hardly enough time to get everything in order, a month is perfect." But my heart, well that says, "You're getting ripped off, your son is over there, two days is too long." Those people that know me know my heart has ruled my head for quite some time now so I guess that's what has caused me to blog like I have for the last year.

BUT, this morning when I woke up at 4am to give Dailah some Tyelenol I couldn't fall back asleep. So I sat in our rocking chair looking at the moon (this is serious, I'm not writing a personal ad here for how cool and introspective I am) I realized just how flippin blessed I am. I looked at Zach, he was taking up the whole bed but whatever, and just smiled thinking about the fact that I would get to talk to him in just a few hours and share another day with him. I thought about Trysten and Dailah and looked forward to Trysten snuggling when he woke up and Dailah calling "mommy". I, of course, thougth about Tariku. I thought about his Ethiopian family and I was sending them thoughts that I would do everything in my power to raise him to be a man they would be proud of. How lucky I am that God chose us to parent this child.

I also thought about my other family members, my sister-in-law, Leslie and my friend, Jody. They are throwing Zach and I a "celebration" (it's really a shower but Zach hates that word) for Tariku tonight complete with Tariku's favorite food and my favorite African wines. The support they've shown throughout this journey, the ears they listened with, the shoulders they held out for support, the arms they hugged with. I truly am a blessed girl.

So if I HAVE to wait another month, I guess I'll be waiting that month in good company. Better company than a girl like me, who likes to complain about things a bit too much once in awhile, deserves.