Hitting the Proverbial Wall

So today reminded me of the days when my mom would come home and say to herself while going up the stairs, "I had me such a hard day today." Because "I had me such a hard day today."

To set the stage, Zach got offered the Director of Camp position in April of this year. I had heard how gross the Director's house was before that but didn't really have a picture of it. One of our friends went through it and said it needed to be condemned and torn down. I went through it and had to plug my nose, wear my shoes and not let my kids get down to play. It really was that bad. We accepted the offer after they had said they were going to renovate the house for us. A couple months later, the bottom floor was being renovated (it houses the two kids' rooms and the kitchen). So I was excited by the progress.

We've now been in the house for 2 months and virtually nothing has been done since then. It's been SO hard for me, as the top floor hasn't been touched and that's where most of our stuff is. I hit the wall tonight because Dailah's head got stuck in the freakin' railing. Plus, I was cleaning for over 3 hours to prepare for our last homestudy tomorrow and I would be willing to bet the layperson coming into the house would not be able to tell I spent so much time doing it.

Sooo, I'm a fairly laidback person. I don't get worked up over much but I'm officially worked up over the homestudy tomorrow. I guess the reason is because I'm honestly not sure if I were the social worker, that I'd be able to okay the family living here to bring in more kids until conditions improve. I'm just plain upset I suppose.

My always amazing husband sensed my frustration (and by sensed, I mean heard me bawling uncontrollably) and asked what he could do before tomorrow to make me a little more comfortable. He hung up the phone, called back a few minutes later and announced he was getting himself and the guy working on the house together to work on it from 8-12 tomorrow. What oh what did I do to deserve him?

So I'm trying to get in a positive place. Living here (did I mention it's free?) has made it possible for me to stay-at-home. My day consists of working out, training a few people and laughing uncontrollably with my kids, do I really have the right to complain? I struggle with that so much because on one hand I praise God for giving us the opportunity to live at camp, on the other I ask how I've constantly put my kids in a position where they could be injured, perhaps even seriously.

Ok, I've got to stop dwelling on this and get back to more serious things like The Bachelor. :) If you're reading, Lindsay, I'm thinking of you, can't wait to hear possible baby news!