So today I was thinking about my blog. I started it to muse about motherhood, life and love and it's become some sort of glorified baby book. I've never been very good at keeping those up anyway, and so I thought let's just combine powers. As my sister-in-law quoted somebody (sorry, sis, forgot the name) "Writing is like living life twice" or something to that effect. And I believe it to be true, my blog has become somewhat theraputic and the imaginary people reading it out there have become my confidants. So I thank you for that.
Our worship leader at church was talking about how God didn't make us to go at this life alone. I believe that with all of my heart but I also believe we, as mothers, as women, as humans try to do too much alone. We internalize things and put on our happy faces. I've been at points in my life when I've been without someone other than my husband to divulge intimate feelings and it is the very definition of miserable. I love having women in my life who I can be true with, who I can be real with. Happy or sad, disappointed or frustrated, it gets progressively easier when I'm sharing it over a cup of coffee with my girlfriends.
I don't think it's any surprise to my faithful followers that I am all about women connecting and coming together rather than tearing each other apart. My days in the women's studies department taught me something, right? But I guess even my best of friends would be surprised to know that sometimes it's still very hard for me. That even though I try to live life as a mostly open book to my friends, there are still days when somewhere inside is screaming that it's really not as okay as I'm letting on. Those days are few and far between, mind you, but they are still there. I'm trying to let those go a bit more at a time, not for anyone else's sake but my own. It just feels too good to tell someone and get the hug that was most needed or a shared tear or a look that shows me I'm not alone regardless of how alone I feel.
One thing the adoption (and perhaps motherhood in general) has taught me is that the ONLY way I can get through it is with a little help from my friends. So thank you to those that have been there all along, those that are new on board and those that will be coming very soon. I thank God for you each and every moment.
On a somewhat side note (not so side...it is about my very talented sister-in-law who is one of my biggest confidantes and also a mom to my nephews and also a female warrior) she is now a columnist on www. pregnancy.org. PLEASE go check out her first 2 articles. www.pregnancy.org/article.php?sid=3335 Copy and paste that into your web browser. You can click on her September and October articles. Do it, it will change your life. :)