New Year

I'm kind of one of those people who likes to show up fashionably late to parties.

Actually that's not true at all, I hate being late to things (though with having 5 kids that is oft the case). That said, turns out I'm super late to the blog party that is "Welcome 2012!"

We had a pretty great New Years Eve. Zach's siblings, parents and aunt came to our house where we ate, drank and let the kids have an awesome sleepover (adults had a pretty rad one too). I love these people and am so, so freaking blessed to be related to them.

Zach kept the classy factor up a notch with his tuxedo t-shirt. Look at that table. Oy!

Uncle Jake led the bigs in a rousing game of Monopoly.

Aunt Kait was home from Japan, we were so excited to see her. Especially because she always comes bearing awesome gifts. In this case super sweet chopsticks.

Got some cuddle time with my sister-in-law, Emily. :)

We let the kids stay up pretty late (10pm). Like the last few years we toast with the kids to the new year. And then we have them tell us their favorite memory of the last year. It is always one of my favorite parts of the night. My kids (and nieces and nephews) are such tremendous blessings.

Look at them. Is your heart bursting?

The wonder non-twins. Just a few months apart these cousins look like siblings. This is one of my favorite pictures of the year.

My man.

I never actually make resolutions. I work in the fitness industry and tend to see a large number of people come pouring through the Y doors come January. Ever the optimist, my participants will tell you that I constantly believe this will be the year they all stay! Though a few do, the majority of the ones doing it for a new resolution quit come March and aren't seen again until the next January.

It's enough to make a woman realize there is no power in resolutions based on whimsy.

I have thought, more than ever, about what I want in the new year. 2011 was filled with some amazing highs and some incredible lows. Maybe one day I'll tell you about it all.

But let me tell you I found suffering in greater amounts this year than I have perhaps ever. We had trials that we entered into quietly but with great fortitude and so I can say without hesitation

that 2011 was also the year that will be described by me as "full of grace". I found forgiveness and reconciliation were not just words in a book I love but actual things. I never knew what those really felt like until this year.

And it.is.amazing.

I enter 2012 feeling more like myself than ever before. Feeling freer to be who I am and have always been but probably never felt free to share. We all have masks, don't we? Boy I lived for my masks.

Not anymore. I realized this year those masks are only helpful if I'm not a person worth knowing. But I am. That took a lot of work realizing that. But I know it now.

So this year I don't resolve to be more myself because it's the new year, I resolve to be more like myself because I have a husband who loves the whole of me. I have kids who saw through my masks even before I let them go. I have friends and family who love even the darkest parts of me. And I have a God who looks at me like I look at my kids. With absolute adoration.

Knowing all of this, how could 2012 not be the best year yet?