Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Ill Prepared

I was thinking last night as I was making my bead, while folding clothes, while brushing my teeth that high school/college really didn't prepare me for the bulk of what's going on in my life. I dare say it was even less than helpful when I was in full-time "real world" employment. A few examples I thought of:

We had home ec, but there was no mention of how to cook while your kids want you to read books, and the laundry needs switched over, etc. Home ec taught me how to bake "no bake" cookies but didn't tell me how to make a meal that 5 people would all enjoy.

We had economics but no one told me how to fight fair with my husband when he wants new work clothes and I want new shoes and both don't fit in the budget. They taught us about supply and demand but didn't teach us how to budget for a family and put monies into 401ks and retirement funds and CDs (I'm talking about the people who DIDN'T take business classes obviously).

We had sociology classes that taught us what would happen if we screwed up the whole parenting thing but no actual parenting classes that could teach us how to keep our head about us when our oldest is struggling to breath or how to stay patient when you're waiting for a child around the world to come home.

College and high school taught us plenty about being selfish and thinking about what WE want to be and what WE need to do and what WE need to eat. It didn't equip us at all to let all selfishness go once you get married and have children. There were no classes labeled "Compromise" even though that pretty much sums up my life as a wife and mother.

I'm amazed at how easily I transitioned into this whole wifely and motherly role. There was no training, other than watching my mom juggle all the same things. When looking back, though, it does upset me a bit that there was no preparation and in just a few short years I'll be wishing someone gave me classes on preparing for empty nest. I understand it's kind of left to the parents to be teaching their children all of this "real world" stuff they need to know but it must be asked, "What happens when the kids grow up all but parentless?" I, of course, hate that we get some of these children in a viscious cycle of having no guidance for real world issues and then passing that onto their children, etc, etc.

Whew, that tone changed quickly on me but I just was thinking about all of that last night. I really hope and pray I can raise both my boys and girl to know how to do all of those things I mentioned and so much more baffling things that happen on a daily basis.


Emily said...

But don't you think that's just part of becoming a wife and mother? If someone had REALLY told you what to expect or how to do it all, do you think anyone would want to do it?! :), there are so many things in life you just cannot prepare yourself for no matter how hard you try...because it will always be better, worse, more intense, more boring than you ever could have imagined. It's in those moments when I remember God is in control of all of this anyway, so why worry myself with all of it?

Although...I do sometimes wonder why God only gave us women only 2 arms/hands. It just doesn't make sense sometimes!

Miles To Go Before I Sleep...... said...

I really liked that post Tesi :-) I've thought those things too. I don't think anyone can ever prepare us for real life.... it's a "class" all in it's own. Learn through experience and talking with others in similar situations is how I've learned. Right now I'm trying to "learn" how to get Izeah to go to bed before 11PM with no tears :-) Yep, no book on that one out there (trust me, I've read some and they all gave me absolutely no resolutions!)....

Brenda said...

Wow, that is so true! I would have to agree with 100% of what you just said.

Andrea said...

Yeah, it's all pretty much trial and error huh? Sure couldn't do all this without faith huh?!