"On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, "Is it safe?" Expediency asks the question, "Is it politic?" And Vanity comes along and asks the question, "Is it popular?" But Conscience asks the question "Is it right?" And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right."
I'm going to Haiti on Wednesday. It's nearly impossible to imagine as I sit here in my living room watching the Today show and drinking my coffee. Still in my sweatpants, I can hear my kids playing and laughing together. I'm already starting to feel that separation in my mind. How do you rectify the two worlds?
I remember this feeling before we left to go to Ethiopia to pick up Tomas and Binyam. Having been there once before I knew what was about to hit me and so I struggled the week leading up to our trip with staying present. When you know your whole world is about to be rocked how do you stay focused on enjoying the present day?
I started with the Martin Luther King Jr quote for a few reasons. Obviously today is the day we celebrate his life and legacy but also because that quote kind of stood out today.
So many times in the last few weeks I've felt the urge to back out of the trip. I kept thinking that a sane person wouldn't be going to Haiti. Of course I feel safe there, but as safe as I feel now in my sweatpants on my couch? Well no of course not. Because there are so many unknowns.
And I've done all but begged my Facebook followers to donate money to buy stoves. $20 for one stove. That's a coffee date with your best friend, a movie with your husband OR a stove that doesn't make a family sick in Haiti. A job for someone in Haiti. Donating $60 will enter your name in a drawing to have your chance to go to Haiti AND give 3 families stoves. Every time I went to post I hesitated for just a second and asked, "Is this popular? Will they get sick of me?" It lasted for a minute but I admittedly still thought it.
But then of course, to combat the doubts I ask "is it right"? Not the actual going to Haiti but the act of annoying my friends and family for donations, the act of putting myself in a position to be moved, to be broken and to see heaven meet earth. And of course the answer is a resounding "yes".
I think the tension I feel in my stomach is simply God working. He's preparing me to not only see the brokenness of of the world but also in me. Trips like these have a way of holding a big ole' mirror in front of you and revealing all the areas you fall short.
So I'm going to Haiti. I'm going to see for my own eyes the amazing work The Adventure Project is doing there. I'm going to see how they use local partners to empower their own people. I'm going to see brothers helping brothers and sisters helping sisters. I'm going to see healthy kids who were once sick. I'm going to see so. much. more. And I can't wait to share it with you.
Will you pray for me? Will you send positive vibes, light candles or dedicate your meditation to the trip? Will you donate? While there, we are drawing the name of the person who wins the next trip to Haiti (remember all it takes is you donating $60 OR you encouraging enough people to total $60). I want to pull out your name. Because you blog readers have been with me for so long and through so much. I want you to get your chance to be changed as well.
So donate today. It's said constantly where our money goes, so too goes our heart. Let your money and your heart go to the Haitian people still reeling 3 years later. I'll be able to tell you all about it in a few short days.
Off to work really hard at that staying present deal. On a day like today, I'm constantly reminded how blessed I am by my life. To have the kids that I do and the family that I do. To have the opportunities I do. So, so thankful.
4 comments:
Tesi, I will absolutely be sending prayers for a safe journey. Enjoy your trip.
I am SO excited for you and will be praying you along, dear friend!
Praying for you! so excited to see what God does Tessi!
Tesi, You inspire everyone who knows you. So blessed to call you friend.
And asking for donations, asking for money ... uggghhhh! My least favorite thing. Evah!!!
Big prayers for God to reveal himself to you, your team and Haiti in a big way. Love you friend!
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