Friday, May 18, 2007

Unofficially Accepted

So we are unofficially accepted! Basically what that means is, pending any repulsive criminal past (which doesn’t exist for me and by all intents and purposes SHOULDN’T exist for my betrothed) we are well on our way to bringing home our newest Klipschs. Woohoo!

The letter couldn’t have come at a better time. It was a REALLY rough week at work and seeing that all our hard work at being good people might mean we’re on our way to expanding our family blessed my soul to the innermost spot. I really can’t tell you what it did for me without it sounding at least somewhat Shakespearian. So take my word for it that it saved a part of me from being lost to the depths forever.

On a lighter note, we have obviously been talking about what kind of child/ren we would be open to accepting. As far as we can tell we literally go down a checklist and check things that we would accept in a child (i.e. parasites, scabies, etc) and not accept (whatever that might be). I’d be lying if I didn’t feel even partially bad about that. We are looking at possibly asking for siblings/twins (I just realized I mentioned that rather major revelation in an ambiguous spot so I apologize…on the other side of that, I’ll get to see who really reads this thing!) so from here on out I’ll refer to the children we’re bringing home. ANYWAY, what I started out saying is that with regard to my biological children, I would/ would have accepted absolutely anything they came with. So a part of me feels guilty about NOT checking any spots. I realize it’s about what we can handle and what we wouldn’t want to expose our present children to, but still…doesn’t every child deserve to be loved and can’t even the children with the largest health issues enrich a parent’s life to the utmost? This is all really premature for me to be thinking about, but it still weighs on my mind and my heart.

I don’t know what it says about me but I’m already having problems sleeping. I often wake up and realize I’ve been dreaming of things to do with the adoption. I am one sad cookie. I think I’ve always been good at both looking forward to the future and embracing the present. For instance, I look forward to when Dailah can tell me her stories as her big brother does now but I love that right now she smiles without limits and cries only when she’s tired or hungry. I guess a big part of me wonders what our next kids will be like. It’s easier when you’re pregnant. This is your conception date and this is your due date. You can find out the sex if you so desire. You know they will come out weighing anywhere from (hopefully) 6lbs to 12lbs thus will more than likely fit into the 0-3 month outfits for at least a few days.

It’s not like that with adoption. I have the day we officially sent in the application (5/11) but there is absolutely nothing else I can fill in. We can’t be so specific to say we want a 5mth old and a 3 yr old. Perhaps we could, but then we might be waiting a loooooooooong time for our children. So it’s just an interesting dynamic, one I’m obviously not accustomed to or, judging by how I’ve been acting, prepared to handle.

Anyway, enough rambling. I just want to give our children an idea what I was thinking at this stage. So next step is to get a date for our PAC (pre-adoption classes). Right now that’s looking at Mid July, August or September. They will invite us to one of those when they get all of our paperwork back from the various areas we’ve lived. Though I’m hoping for July, I’m preparing for September.

So thanks for checking in. Hope everyone has a splendid weekend.

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