8 months, 22 days and 12 hours ago I was made a mommy for the second time. Dailah Leagh was officially born, early but beautiful as anything. It took me awhile to get past the excitement of pink, adorable outfits to get ready to submit my first blog since she came to us. But alas, here I am. In an ode to my youngest, I must admit I am happier than I’ve ever been because of the life God has given me.
So I was motivated to write a blog this morning because last night was my night with Dailah. What that generally means is should she wake up in the middle of the night, it is my turn to go give her a pacifier or what have you. This also means I get to “sleep in” until Trysten/Dailah wake up. Because my husband is an amazing, devoted, present father, we share these duties equally. Well last night Miss Dailah (or “my b-b-baby girl” as Trysten and I call her) decided to wake up and cry for a good portion of an hour until I finally gave in and gave her a bottle. It was no big deal really, but I was still frustrated seeings after the weekend we had I needed all the sleep I could muster.
And then….I woke up to her coos and giggles. Walked into her room and saw her big smile. Her good morning consisted of a laugh, a smile and kicking her feet and hands in a wave everyone else should try emulating. I tell you, just when I think my kids couldn’t upset me more they go and do that. They smile, or run over and say I love you. They pucker their faces or tell me they want to marry me. So I was thinking of all of my life’s blessings when I went to the TV today to see the Virginia Tech nightmare. At least 31 students dead, another 30 injured from a guy who decided to take out his anger, frustration, whatever, on a bunch of innocent children. These same children (as well as the gunmen, one would assume) once woke up the way my innocent Dailah did. With a smile and a laugh for whoever found them first. To think their young lives were cut short because of something like this pains my innermost being.
My friend, Kathryn, just asked me if I ever think about how depressing it is to bring kids into a world that is capable of so much violence, and ugliness. So much hatred and oppression. I told her of course I think about it. But I also rely so heavily on my faith that if something that horrific was to happen, I know my kids would be with their Creator. In a place where there are no guns, no wayward teenagers or misled human bombs. I know in the midst of it all, once having lost my kids, there would be little comfort in that fact. But when it came time for me to leave this earth, seeing my kids in all their glory, living with our God, well, it would be a mighty beautiful thing.
Besides, I also know that despite the overwhelming sense of ugliness this world has to offer. Despite how often my heart breaks at the tragedies against children of all races, histories, nationalities….I know we were created by the One who knows us better than anyone else. I also know that in the midst of the ugliness, He creates goodness. Some delights so profound you can’t help but witness Him here on earth. Today, for me, it was my little girl’s smile, my little boy’s morning hug and the kiss from my husband.
In the midst of all this suffering, our only choice is to find the beautiful in the every day and to find the hope in the One who created it.