I'm a flawed mom

Today

2012-02-02T14:47:00.000-08:00

Every year our local Y does an annual campaign they call "Partners with Youth". This campaign helps raise funds for all of the amazing programs the Y does. (If you aren't a member of your local Y, you should be. Especially if it's as good as ours. Ours has a 5 star rating from Charity Navigator they are that good. And their programs? Fuggetaboutit).

My husband happens to be the Director of our Y's Camp. Have I mentioned how great our camp is? Okthen.

When Zach took the reigns as Camp Director about 5 years ago the Camp ran in the red. By a lot. Hundreds of thousands of dollars.

This year? Well this year they are in the black. Zach will tell you it's because of his great staff and such and such, but I know it's because of ~~his hot ass~~ how hard he works. And how smart he is, etc. Camp being in the black is really awesome but...

Today the great people of the Y and the people who fundraise for them got to hear a story from a 15-year-old young woman about what camp means to her.

She was nervous, and a little quiet. She was beautiful. She started out saying she loves camp because it's like a family. That she meets girls in her cabin and within a few days they are her sisters.

Then she goes on to say that she doesn't have a dad, and doesn't know who he is because he ran off. "So Zach is like a dad to me. I've never had one but Zach is a father figure to me."

Are you crying? Because I did. The ugly cry.

This beautiful young woman was talking about my husband in a way that made me know this was what he was created for.

I've told you all before how amazing he is, and he is that amazing. I know how great of a dad he is, he is that great of a dad. But I loved hearing what kind of role model he is for other young people in our community.

I loved the way he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and talked into her ear. His reassuring kiss on top of her head made her smile, made her shoulders fall. Made her relax.

He is such a good man. I am so humbled to be walking this life with him.

You know those moments when you see God in the everyday and it takes your breath away? Love those.

Hair cut

2012-01-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

I seriously have no fewer than 5 drafts for this blog right now. But they are bigger issues so I'm ignoring them right now.

Got a hair cut last week. It was time. I used to always grow my hair out then chop it off and donate it. My hair grows incredibly fast so it seemed like a fairly easy way to make a small difference. Plus, I have never had a huge attachment to my hair. It's always been a fun accessory for me, a way to try new looks and just go with whatever happens from my little experiments.

My girl Chrissy hooked me up with one of her friends who was really petty amazing. She listened, laughed, and did a great job.

I don't have many pictures of it but voila! Here it is. The ponytail. That grosses me out for some reason.

When I walked into the house the kids yelled "You look like Trysten!" 9-yr-old boy was not exactly what I was going for but in hindsight I can see the resemblance.

Had our re-launch for the programs I teach at the Y this weekend. I'm still trying to figure out how to wear it when I work out and just every day. I wanted a little more rock star and less mom-ish so I'm still figuring it out.

Good times, good times.

New Year

2012-01-19T17:35:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of one of those people who likes to show up fashionably late to parties.

Actually that's not true at all, I hate being late to things (though with having 5 kids that is oft the case). That said, turns out I'm super late to the blog party that is "Welcome 2012!"

We had a pretty great New Years Eve. Zach's siblings, parents and aunt came to our house where we ate, drank and let the kids have an awesome sleepover (adults had a pretty rad one too). I love these people and am so, so freaking blessed to be related to them.

Zach kept the classy factor up a notch with his tuxedo t-shirt. Look at that table. Oy!

Uncle Jake led the bigs in a rousing game of Monopoly.

Aunt Kait was home from Japan, we were so excited to see her. Especially because she always comes bearing awesome gifts. In this case super sweet chopsticks.

Got some cuddle time with my sister-in-law, Emily. :)

We let the kids stay up pretty late (10pm). Like the last few years we toast with the kids to the new year. And then we have them tell us their favorite memory of the last year. It is always one of my favorite parts of the night. My kids (and nieces and nephews) are such tremendous blessings.

Look at them. Is your heart bursting?

The wonder non-twins. Just a few months apart these cousins look like siblings. This is one of my favorite pictures of the year.

My man.

I never actually make resolutions. I work in the fitness industry and tend to see a large number of people come pouring through the Y doors come January. Ever the optimist, my participants will tell you that I constantly believe this will be the year they all stay! Though a few do, the majority of the ones doing it for a new resolution quit come March and aren't seen again until the next January.

It's enough to make a woman realize there is no power in resolutions based on whimsy.

I have thought, more than ever, about what I want in the new year. 2011 was filled with some amazing highs and some incredible lows. Maybe one day I'll tell you about it all.

But let me tell you I found suffering in greater amounts this year than I have perhaps ever. We had trials that we entered into quietly but with great fortitude and so I can say without hesitation

that 2011 was also the year that will be described by me as "full of grace". I found forgiveness and reconciliation were not just words in a book I love but actual things. I never knew what those really felt like until this year.

And it.is.amazing.

I enter 2012 feeling more like myself than ever before. Feeling freer to be who I am and have always been but probably never felt free to share. We all have masks, don't we? Boy I lived for my masks.

Not anymore. I realized this year those masks are only helpful if I'm not a person worth knowing. But I am. That took a lot of work realizing that. But I know it now.

So this year I don't resolve to be more myself because it's the new year, I resolve to be more like myself because I have a husband who loves the whole of me. I have kids who saw through my masks even before I let them go. I have friends and family who love even the darkest parts of me. And I have a God who looks at me like I look at my kids. With absolute adoration.

Knowing all of this, how could 2012 not be the best year yet?

Melkam Gena and holy injera!

2012-01-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

About a year (maybe 10?) this lady sent me this book:

Mama has been too scared to even try it, let me just tell you. Look how happy that woman looks on the cover! Look at those perfect rolls of injera! This was not helping my complex.

But then I went and invited 50 people to our place to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas and I thought it was time to put on my big girl panties and go for it.

I first called this amazing woman and talked for about an hour (not just injera, mind you, it was actually an awesome, soul filling convo, anywho...). In that time she gave me all of the tips, that happen to be in the book but were helpful nonetheless, I would need to know in order to make this successful.

I rolled up my sleeves (and visited Greatest Grains, our local whole foods market) and went to work. First step looked the way she said it was supposed to:

Then just 6 or so hours before party time you add some boiling water and voila!

While that was fermenting I checked out my good friend Captain Murdock's blog to prepare some traditional Ethiopian food. As I texted her every 5 minutes or so (I think I have self reliance problems) I successfully made Doro Wat (pictured here without chicken first):

And sega wat:

Dear friends, it was not all fun and games in the kitchen though. There were onions. Lots of freakin' onions. And I'm SUPA sensitive to those delicious little boogers. I've recently gotten creative.

The smell lingered for HOURS people. HOURS. The kids ran outside to escape the potency. I, however, kept the goggles on during all food prep until the smell dissipated.

I took no real pictures of the actual night. The day passed too quickly. 30 minutes before people were to arrive my mom was making some aklilt and I was making shiro. It was not pretty.

How did the injera turn out you ask? Not great. I couldn't figure out how to get it to not stick to the pan. My brother-in-law, Jake, took over and was able to get a few decent rolls out of it but it was still "meh".

It tasted grainy-er than I've tasted and it was too dry. All of this was obviously because of my being a novice. I've promised myself (and Tomas) that I will learn how to do it right by 2013. And I will.

If you want pictures of the ridiculous amounts of love and cuteness that were at the party go to Beth's blog or my fabulous sister's blog.

The night (and the food) was a great success. Tomas especially was in his element. When he was in the care center they called him "Little mayor". He was the epitome of that Saturday night. So hilarious.

In the end, truly, it was a magical night. We are so blessed to have such a great group of people who love and care for our family. Makes a girl feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

2, 2, 2

2012-01-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged. I was going to blog about no fewer than 5 things but then I got an email from this group telling me about this pretty great idea and I knew this was going to be the post I re-introduce myself with.

2 years ago the earthquake hit Haiti. I don't know about you but I can still cry immediately when I remember those first days when we were hearing such large amounts of death and destruction. In fact I just finished reading this blog for the last half hour. Mercy.

Today NPR was talking about what's going on in Haiti 2 years later. A man from USAID was talking about how aid and emergency relief was over and so now they are focusing on development and other ways of making the country even better than it was before the earthquake.

A caller came in who described himself as a grad student who wanted to point out that one of the best things to come out of the earthquake was the development of charcoal-efficient stoves. No. joke.

Since I happened to know a precious woman who, along with another precious woman, started an organization that is revolutionizing charitable giving and focusing their efforts right now on charcoal-efficient stoves I got really excited.

So here's the deal. I want at least 2 of you to donate here. Then email me tesileagh@gmail.com letting me know you donated. THEN, get 2 more people (who will get 2 more people) to donate as well. You can set up your own page or just donate to the page I linked to.

Please, please show Haiti we have not forgotten about them. Did I mention a stove is $20?!?!?! I'm about to spend that on a Casey's pizza for the hubby and I to share. We can do this.

So join. There's a reason I keep coming back to you people, and that reason is because I know you are good and you are loving. I know you will donate. :)

Thanks.

Haiku it up

2012-01-03T13:20:00.000-08:00

Semi-Feral Mama called me out in email to write a Haiku in her comments. It worked out nicely because I wanted the book she's promising one commenter for the better part of forever. It was just what I needed to submit a Haiku (or 7).

Here's your challenge. Go over there and write one yourself. If you're feeling particularly charitable in this year 2012 feel free to write underneath your Haiku (this is for hotflawedmama, feel free to send her the book instead of me). I really freakin' want that book. ;) Kidding (kind of). But at the very least if you win you need to tell me how it is. Even though I already know it's amazing.

So go! Haiku it
up! You will not regret it!
Victory is sweet.

*SF Mama I think that counts as my 4th entry, no? ;)
**I did not recheck that my Haiku were legit Haiku. No telling whether they can be legally counted as such.

Christmas!

2012-01-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

Perhaps one of my favorite Christmases ever this year. The kids were wonderful, hubs was amazing, it was just terrific.

Tariku with his new iPod.

Binyam with his snuggie. Kind of an inside joke...This kid is the coldest person we've ever met. His hands and feet are seconds from hypothermia at any given moment. He's actually even more irresistable in his snuggie.

The kids toasted Jesus with their sparkling grape juice.

And daddy made the birthday boy his pancake (which I ate...still not sure how I feel about that. ;))

Then celebrating at Zach's 'rents. This gift we gave to my nephew, Cash. Pinterest I love you.

My mom-in-law made this poncho for Dailah. fuggetaboutit

My mom-in-law got down on her (fake) knees and proposed (again) to my dad-in-law. They will be renewing their vows next week. Precious.

Papa Frank surprised my bigs with their own snowboards. They were seriously excited.

We were all seriously excited, as it turns out.

Pre-Christmas

2012-01-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

We did not have internet for a few weeks, I'm just getting back to it and am too lazy/tired/hungover (still from New Years Eve ay yi yi) to do anything but picture posts. It'll come, I promise.

Lots of cookie decorating at my mom and dad's house. My niece Adley Sue LOVED the frosting. I just love her.

The tongue! The concentration!

Look who was the last woman standing...and I don't even like sugar cookies.

Christmas Eve morning we opened presents from my 'rents. Tomas chose to wear everything he got. All.Day.

Yearly tradition, Santa Claus came!!!! The kids were so hilariously excited.

None more than these two (more specifically Tariku).

I mean, look at this face and thumbs up to Santa!

Even the adults took a seat. Santa Claus happened to be my favorite basketball coach growing up. What a great man.

He made a point to say "You know I'm kind of a cool guy but those people, your parents and grandparents they love you. They are the real heroes." Kind of a really cool moment.

At one point Dailah asks where his sleigh is and he tells her it's outside. A few minutes later my mom says, "Um, there's a kid outside." Sure enough Dailah walked around the whole house looking for his sleigh.

She came inside, "Where is it? I didn't see it!"

Santa: "Well it's invisible during the day. Kids aren't supposed to see it." Then he leaves.

Tomas looks out the window and yells, "I don't know about his sleigh but I see his car!"

Freakin' hilarious.

The month(s) in pictures

2011-12-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Not sure how long it's been since I last posted pictures so I thought I'd make up for lost time. Seriously make up for it.

Before Thanksgiving Tomas had a 2nd grade reenactment of the "first supper" as I like to call it. I just thought there was something hilarious about an Ethiopian pretending to be a pilgrim.

I got to meet my bestie's babe. Woody had little Donovan in October but it was my first time back in the hometown. I do love babies.

My sister and I drove a few hours to meet my mom at my grandparents. We brought some Christmas cheer to my grandma who had just had back surgery. I am so very thankful to have both of my grandparents, particularly these two because they are just the coolest. My mom bought them a real Christmas tree and we decorated the house. I got my geeked upedness over Christmas from my mom, by the way.

Dailah (my little Parisan artiste) has absolutely fallen in love with drawing.

We went and helped my parents pick out their Christmas tree. Zach was supermodel hot, Binyam was freezing.

Mitigu is getting big and stealing the dog's pillow. (Can you believe my mother-in-law made this pillow. Thread portraits are the coolest.)

The kids behaved like a bunch of 20-yr-olds before church playing some chess and some 500.

My turkey trotters

I became super nostalgic looking at the kids' school pics. Especially Tomas's. Tomas at 7 on the left and at about 4 on the right. Too cute.

A man who does the dishes and still has tie to give the kitty a kiss? Fuggetaboutit.

I went on a field trip with Tariku's class to our Ballet's production of The Nutcracker. He and I needed our time together more than we knew. This boy I must never let slip through the cracks. He deserves so much more.

I've been learning to snowboard. More on that later but let's just say I've taken my cheap assedness to new levels.

Just because they're creative in their pursuits for comfort.

There have been LOTS of snuggles.

At my soccer game (1 minute into it) I hear a scream in the stands and see my mom and Zach running to the aid of Dailah who was cupping her face. Then I see Zach cradling her and waving me frantically towards them. The force of her fall (on concrete steps) busted open her chin.

I got my cuddles. She was a champion.

12 stitches later.

One word. Pinterest. That's all for now.

We celebrated my beloved nephew Eli's 5th birthday. Sinta was ridiculously cute (I do love Zach's relationship with his nieces/nephews, have I mentioned that before?) and Eli. What can I say about him? I just love him so much.

Tariku. He is more gorgeous than you can imagine. He's also sweeter than you can imagine. Love him so much.

Zach made some shiro the other night. We haven't tried injera yet so it went over rice. Tomas and Tariku loved it. The rest of us loved the taste but almost died with the heat. Either way, it was amazing. Thank you Captain for being amazing and showing us the way.

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

I am totally that person. The one who had an entire refrigerator covered with Christmas cards from loved ones and I have never sent one out. Ever. This year I had some seriously great intentions. Our family is feeling pretty settled, I had a great idea for the exact picture and the exact phrasing. And then I remembered that can get pretty expensive. I remembered I'd rather buy water or buy a stove with the money I was going to spend and so that's what I did.

The good news is that you're all (kind of) getting a card anyway! And by that I mean, here is what our letter would have said.

But be assured, dear readers, that I think of you often. I pray for you. I send copious amounts of love and well wishes to you each and every day. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for supporting and loving our family in 2011. To another amazing year!

*Note: This is super long. It will stand as a scrapbook type thing for our family so no hard feelings if you take a graceful exit now.*

Merry Christmas 2011

Another year here in Klipschville. How is that possible? The kids continue to grow and change and develop and I continue to ask myself why. Why do they have to do that? Truth be told their ages just continue to delight me. Every year I say to myself, "This is my favorite year with their ages." I literally say that every year. But this year I'm serious.

Trysten (8): The quintessential eldest. He is ridiculously smart, ridiculously empathetic. Trysten loves to read as much as I do and can often be found with nose in a book. At the dinner table (or so he tries), in the car, walking, always with a book. Right now he is in the thick of the 5th Harry Potter book (the Order of the Phoenix amiright?!?!) which makes me squeal with delight. We told the kids when they finish a HP book and can tell us what happened then they get a special night with us watching the movies. Trysten has eaten that up. Trysten's style is skater chic. He likes his hair ~~in his eyes~~ long, jeans tight and dark, skulls on his shirts. He would trade all of that, of course, to have a shirt/sweatshirt that matches his dad's. Trysten has enjoyed playing baseball, soccer and basketball this year. Though naturally gifted he doesn't have what one would call "the fighting spirit" in him. He could oft be found twirling his hair instead of engaging in sport but in the end, he still tells us he wants to participate and that's all we need to hear. My prayer for Trysten has always been that his empathetic nature leads him to defend the "defenseless" and care for people who need it. A few weeks ago he won a "spirit award" for sticking up to his classmates who were bullying a kid. I cried when I got the call from the school because I knew in that moment that we were doing something right.

Tomas (7): The happiest kid you will ever meet in your entire life ever. Ever. He wakes up in the morning with a groggy smile and a hoarse "Morning mama" that melts my heart and makes me pledge my allegiance to his eternal happiness. Tomas never tattles. Never. He literally hates for any of his siblings to be in trouble. Every day after school he talks about his "best friend" though those best friends are new each day and change with the wind. Not because he's not loyal but because I think he truly sees the best in each person. Tomas has officially caught up with his age in reading and they are working towards that in math. He is the hardest worker I've ever seen in my life. He wants it so badly. I can't wait for the day when things are easier for him but until then I've learned to take 10 deep breaths when I'm helping him with his homework. :) Though he played baseball, it has become increasingly clear that soccer and basketball are more up his alley. That big ole heart of his flops around the field/court with as much gusto as one could imagine. Every time the play is away from him he can be found looking towards his family with a grin and a wave. I can be found with an identical grin and an even more excited wave. Tomas's style would probably be referred to as "preppy". Loves him some collared shirts. Loves them so much he often tries pairing them with sweatpants if no other options are clean. Though he tried to rock the afro like his little brother, in the end he remembered that he hates combing his hair so he asked for it to be cut. My prayer for Tomas is that he constantly sees the good in people. That he doesn't let the few bad apples in the world ruin his perspective. Last week he got bullied by a little girl. After telling me all of the details he asked if he could write her a letter. When I asked him why he would want to do that he replied, "I want her to know I forgive her and I still want her to be my friend."

Tariku (6): The prodigy. I'm not sure how else to describe him, really. He is fiercely smart, fiercely loving and fiercely loyal. He is good at every.single.thing. he does. Though he excels in school he doesn't love it the way Trysten does. His real bread and butter (or pizza in his case) is sports. He played baseball, soccer and basketball this year as well and loved every minute of it. Tariku has "the fighting spirit" his oldest brother lacks. His face literally takes on a different shape when he's geared up for competition. He throws everything at it too. In general, that's a good thing. Unfortunately that means there are some tears shed when his team loses. Though I've played sports my entire life I've never felt that much pain at losing, fortunately his dad was the same way. Those two yahoos could talk for hours about the disappointment they feel when losing. I actually really like seeing them like that together, I just wish Tariku wasn't so hard on himself! His style would certainly be "athletic". He would like to live in basketball shorts and a t-shirt thankyouverymuch! He likes his hair long in an afro or in braids. He refuses to get it cut, which is just fine by us! Tariku is bar none the most helpful person in the house (myself included). Every morning when I get the kids up he has fed the cat and fed one of the dogs. He has put the toothpaste on the brushes and helped Binyam pick out his clothes. He and I bond over our ~~OCD~~ love of organizing. Every year we go through toys before Christmas to get rid of ones we never play with. The two of us simultaneously rolled up our sleeves, grinned at each other and had a merry old time powering through 3 bedrooms in as many hours. Tariku is very cognizant of fairness. He always has been but as he gets older and bigger he also gets louder in his cries for fairness. With 5 kids and a mom who is sometimes so scatterbrained she can't remember which kid has gotten what, fairness is not always the name of the game. I do believe the issue is deeper with my beloved Tariku but we are trying to teach in him the power of patience. My prayer for Tariku has always been firstly that he knows we love him with every inch of us and secondly that he uses that passion for fairness to right some wrongs in this world. It should come as no surprise to you then that he is the first to ask how much we give to clean water or ask questions about subjects on the radio that alert his inequality radar.

Dailah (5): Our girl. Sometimes I do believe that's all we would need to say about her for people to understand all that entails but alas I am prone to self indulgence so here I go. Damn that girl is a sweetheart. She still loves to cuddle and hold hands. She grabs both sides of your face when she gives goodnight kisses and lingers until she erupts in giggles. She loves everything pink, sparkly, shiny, girly. She has a style all her own. Loves wearing tights every day and lives in layers upon layers. I envy her fashion sense, I will tell you that. More than that she is so smart and so funny. She, like Tariku, excels in school but tends to love it more for the social aspect. Any time we pick her up early for class at least 10 classmates call her name with arms outstretched waiting for a hug. Her teacher tells us everyone loves her and wants to sit by her. This comes as no surprise to us because we find her brothers naturally gravitate to her sides as well. As girly as she is she still enjoys a good sport. She also played soccer this year. Most of the time she was holding the hand of her coach or walking aimlessly but every once in awhile she'd get some previously undiscovered energy and go for it. More than that she's also the first to try skateboarding, taking mice off traps, biking down hills, sledding, etc. This would explain why she recently needed stitches in her chin. After falling down 4 large concrete steps we took her to the hospital where she needed a few handful of stitches. Complain she did not, instead she told the doctor of her Christmas wishlist and her brothers. She is passionate, hilarious and kind. For her I pray that she uses that humor and that joy to bring light to places without. So they too can know it.

Binyam (5): The babe. He is sweet, he is kind, he is patient and he is steadfast. He is courageous and brave and quirky and cute. This fall brought his 3rd and (hopefully) final surgery on his club feet. They look rather amazing so we are all praying it really is his last. At night he has to wear some sort of ~~torture device~~ contraption that is simply 2 shoes on a metal rod. This metal rod keeps his feet about hip width apart with toes turned out. During the day he wears corrective shoes as well. He, of course, takes all of this in stride. Never one to complain, Binyam happily calls these shoes his "cool dude shoes" and has a look about him that dares anyone to disagree with him. Binyam, like Tomas, is a friend to all. On Saturday I was looking for him at the basketball courts and lo and behold he had talked one of the coaches into shooting hoops with him. Only Binyam. His smile lights up this entire earth, I tell you. No day goes by without someone calling him a "heartbreaker" and I dare say I agree with them completely. Binyam goes to a full day preschool this year and I can't even put into words how good it's been for him. Just tonight he was able to write his name with no help from us. Last year at this time he couldn't even point to his name after a year of preschool. We are so pleased with his progress and hard work! Binyam does not respond at all to any sort of anger. If one speaks to him with the slightest bit of displeasement he shuts down. His teachers (and parents!) have finally figured out the only way to discipline him is to talk in a happy voice about the issue. As weird as that is to get used to, it works every time. Binaym is a doting little brother. Every morning as we drop the other 4 off at school he yells out, "I love you Dailah!" The two of them couldn't be any closer if they were born of the same womb. For Binyam I pray constantly that the spirit and determination with which he's fought in his short life will sustain him throughout. Because man, he's amazing.

Zach and I are still going strong. This year brought on challenges but also brought on the most amazing newness to our relationship. I can say without hesitation that these last months have been the very best of my life and I owe it all to the man who agreed to marry me those many years ago. I'm so, so thankful for him.

Zach continues to be the director of the camp where we live. He truly excels at his job and has won lots of praise for it. This year, like every other, he has taken on many different hobbies and lost almost as many. The gusto with which he tackles and tries new things inspires me and keeps me on my toes as well. I really do live for that man.

This lady here, well I'm defining a new normal as well. With the kids in school all day I've found my days float by at alarming speeds. Some days I'm constantly busy and when I sit down to tell Zach about my day I have nothing to show for it. How does this happen? That said, I'm still teaching my classes at the Y and loving every minute of that. I've met so many good friends and interesting people there, it's a true passion of mine. No telling what the next year will hold for me but I know it will be filled with more laughter and goodness than I can possibly imagine.

Blessings to you in the new year!

Let me tell you a little story

2011-12-10T18:51:00.000-08:00

about my Spidey sense.

I have a freakish sense of smell. Zach calls it my basset hound. As in "honey, break out the basset hound I think I smell something".

When I was pregnant it got downright ridiculous. I could actually smell gas before it left the anal cavity. No. joke.

It both drove Zach crazy and impressed the hell out of him.

When we brought home the Christmas bush I immediately said to Zach, "This doesn't smell like a Christmas tree."

"That's because it's not, Tesi, it's a half dead cedar or something."

I didn't think too much of it because I was smitten with the darn thing.

Fast forward to the next day. We walked into the house and I immediately smelled kitty litter. Since we have a cat I naturally deduced that the kitty litter had gotten sucked into the vent system and was now spreading the smell throughout all of the house.

So I moved the kitty littler to a place that had no vent system anywhere near it.

The next day I walked in the house and it still smelled like, pardon my french, a bag of buttholes. Basset hound went to work and surmised it was the tree.

Crap.

I turned to Zach, broke the news that the tree was going to have to go. Basset hound couldn't possibly live harmoniously with the foul smelling bush for another month.

Zach's response? "This is my hell."

But he loves me more than any human deserves and so he properly disposed of the bush.

Unfortunately all that was left was a Christmas tree I bought (or maybe my sister bought, can't remember if I paid her back for that actually) for Wine to Water. It was $11. It is not pretty.

That said, she (clearly it's a she) kind of fits in our family. At least until I find another bush that doesn't smell like death warmed over.

*Please notice the wayward sword. House full of mostly boys, it's gonna happen.

A Klipsch Christmas

2011-12-04T15:44:00.000-08:00

Today was the day. The day we went to pick out our tree. Always a time we enjoy. For more examples please see last year's tree, my personal favorite would be from 2 years ago though.

Anywho, I really wanted it to be from camp again this year just because last year I missed being able to go out and pick one in the middle of the forrest. There's something about this

that makes me think it's not Christmas until we've frozen our collective asses off in pursuit of the perfect family Christmas tree.

I think we did it again this year, although this year we might want to call this the Klipsch Christmas bush. Perhaps you can help us with the description of this one.

But first the search.

It did require hiking and since Binyam's feet are still recovering and Dailah is a diva, the two of them hung out with me most of the time while the other man/manboys checked out the situation.

This one. Oy.

We ended up at one right next to the car. Tomas had first sighted it but I thought he was just trying to get out of the aforementioned ass freezing. Ended up being about the only possible tree.

Zach earned a super man card. First for his super sweet hat and second for chopping down the tree with just his hands and a small axe. That's hot. But seriously, how great is this picture? Please notice the side panel missing on the Pilot and the overwhelming overwhelmingness of the Christmas tree.

When we got home the kids commenced to shenanigans while Zach took care of the tree.

They are actual really great helpers.

This good picture took 20 takes. He was in a mood.

Binyam took 22 minutes to get 1 ornament on. He is tenacious in all things.

I must admit to judging people with those "perfect" Christmas trees with all the ornaments matching and well placed. Especially if they are located in houses with kids. I only have so many years where the ornaments reach only the bottom half, I'm not speeding through those if I can help it.

Truly I love this Christmas tree because it represents our family way more than any given traditional tree. It's imperfect, kind of messed up, messy, unique, original. But in the end it's found its redemption.

futbol

2011-12-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

Having not played soccer for close to a decade, I had been able to fool myself into believing I didn't really miss it...until my kids got older and started to get competitive in their soccer leagues. It had been on my mind recently to really try to find a co-ed or women's league around me. Co-ed would've been ideal as then my brother and sister could've played with me. But at one of my classes one night some young women mentioned they were on a soccer team. I latched onto them immediately. Within a week I had signed my sister and me up for a women's soccer league.

We play Wednesday nights. The second game I played I pulled my quad. I wasn't in Kansas anymore, it seemed. If Kansas was the body of an 18-yr-old, that is. Nevertheless, it has been really fun.

I even realized I could still run.

But the best part has got to be that I get to play with my big sister. In high school we were referred to as "The Double D's". Much to my dismay it was not due to our rather robust chest size (although perhaps my sister could be a single D these days...I digress). It was actually due to our last name being "Dawson". Also due to the fact that we were the 2 forwards and would often be the assist/goal combo. It was a great time. This past Wednesday, the double D's were out and proud (again, not talking about breasts). My sister scored and I felt ridiculously joyful. Made me so excited for our kids to grow up and have this experience with their siblings. Especially when they are on the sidelines and make the same sorts of faces.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here

2011-12-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading this little blog awhile you know that I'm a total nerd when it comes to my love and devotion to all things Christmas. Fairly certain it'd be annoying if I weren't so charming. ;)

The kids LOVE this. I'm not just saying that. They seriously love this.

You know who never used to love this? Zach. To be fair, I do tend to grate on nerves this time of year. That said, he's a terrific husband. And he loves me so much. Truly, our marriage has never been better and most of that has to do with this guy.

See?

Speaking of stockings, how about these that my mom-in-law made? Can't help but notice there is clearly room for a few more, right honey?

Mitigu tried to help decorate too. He ended up just knocking down all the decor. Regardless, he's so freakin' cute.

Obviously our favorite part. My grandmother made this nativity set. Zach and I enjoy this set because it provides many great discussions. One of my favorite things to do is add that little bit of "snow". Why? Was there really snow in Bethlehem? Probably not. Still fun to watch Zach question many things I do regarding this nativity set. Doozie of course loves her some baby Jesus.

After a few minutes I noticed Zach and I were really the only ones going strong. But who can get angry with a couple of budding chess players? Not this gal.

Feeling very, very blessed these days.

Turkey Trot

2011-11-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

Or in this house "Tofurkey Trot". ~~Our~~ My favorite Thanksgiving tradition. This year it was unseasonably warm (and by that I mean it was 37 degrees) at start time.

The kids and I (sans Binyam seeings he was one day out of casts) decided to run the 1 mile. I thought it'd be this fun family run but as soon as the gun went off the boys took off. Weaving and running through the crowds. Dailah was a smitten kitten holding my hand and walk/jogging.

We saw the boys at about half way mark. This was also the moment Dailah decided she was done with the race. More on that later.

Tomas, on the other hand, was first one done. A quick 9 minute mile for this guy. He smiled the entire way. Who does that?

Tariku was next. He also smiled the entire time...except for when he was turning on the engine. When he had someone to beat in his eyeline his face grew fierce.

Trysten chose to run some with his uncle Frank and cousin Cash, some with his buddy from camp. Not sure he smiled the entire time, frankly. Might have gotten that from me.

As previously mentioned, Dailah decided about halfway through that she was done running/ walking. I wanted to finish. The only way to accomplish that was to throw her on my back for the last half mile.

Oh, that was until the last 50 meters. For that she decided to sprint her cute little butt off.

Daddy wanted to run the 5 miles with our dogs so that meant the kids and I got to get some refreshments in between races.

Hot cocoa was the favorite amongst this group.

Of course we had to meet daddy and dogs at the finish. My he-man ended up pulling 260lbs worth of dogs across the finish. Legend tells me the dogs quit at about mile 3. But how cute are they? They are always a big hit wherever we go.

Family picture on Tofurkey day. They are bar none the very best people on this earth.

Binyam-Freedom Mel Gibson style

2011-11-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday Bean had a pretty big day. After many months of being in various sizes of casts Binyam is now free. And his feet look amazing!!!!

Right after they were off he wanted to itch the months of dead skin off. They told us specifically not to let him itch (that was after last time when I let him go to town on them. Whoops) Big sister Dailah is all about ~~babying~~ helping her little brother. So she rubbed his feet for him.

This was just because...come on. Her style is so much cooler than mine.

Went to get him new shoes. He still has to wear braces at night and corrective shoes during the day but those wouldn't be in for a few weeks so we thought he deserved some new kicks.

Besties

When we got home I soaked his feet for about 20 minutes just rubbing the crap off. The tub was not pretty when I was done. You know what was pretty? His little piggies.

Are they not the most perfect feet you've seen in your life?!?!?!?

Go here to see pictures of his feet pre 3 surgeries. Happy thanksgiving indeed!

Tell me a story

2011-11-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Mommy tell me a story about me. Tariku said tonight at dinner.

Tariku isn't a kid who likes the attention on him. Good or bad he'd rather raise someone else up than have the focus be on him. At 6-years-old he's the only kid on his basketball team who passes more than he shoots. Only kid on his team who celebrates just as much (if not more so) when his teammates score as he does when he scores. As his mom, when he asks for a story, I do it. Because it does not happen often.

So I tell him the story of the first time Zach and I saw his face in person. That moment when our eyes connected and he jumped up from his chair and ran, diving into Zach's arms. I explained how he grabbed the stickers from my hands and placed a sticker on each of his friend's foreheads before he placed one on his. We talked and talked about stories from Ethiopia. Tariku, who has heard these stories at least 20 times, laughs at the right moments. But he laughs a laugh of a kid who is hearing it about someone else.

Do you remember any of this? I ask

Eyes down, biting his lip. No

How does that make you feel to not remember? Does it make you sad?

Eyes on me, tears fill then run over. Yes

Daddy to the rescue. Tariku I found a video of you! A video from when you first came home.

The family of 7 gathers around the small screen. We laugh at the right moments, I squeeze his shoulder. I suck up the tears. He was so small, his smile so bright. At the close of the video Tariku looks to me with the renewed sense of identity and I smile back hoping he knows how much I wish things were different for him.

Tomas has a bump on his chin. It's large. It feels like he broke his chin and it was never fixed so his jaw bone just grew another jaw. He has a large scar over his eyebrow.

Binyam has tiny marks all over his torso. Black little lines, some look like small circles.

These boys came to us with stories. Tariku was 3 when we met him, Tomas was 6 and Binyam was 3. These are, of course, estimated ages. Regardless, there were years of stories that are left untold by anyone in this family.

And it breaks my freakin' heart.

Tell me a story about me.

I both love and hate when they ask this of me. Because I know, of course, that their stories don't start at 3 and 6. But dammit if that's all I know.

I ache to tell them of their birth, the way their moms kissed their foreheads or the way their dads first held them and gave them their names. I long to tell them of the time they were running too fast and split open their face. I wish I knew where every scar came from.

But I don't. I have no idea if any of that happened. And though all of the boys have many memories from Ethiopia they don't remember the things they most want to.

Did my mom look at me the way you do? Did my brothers love me the way my brothers/sister here do? Was I funny in Ethiopia? Was I smart? Did I struggle with this? Did I excel at that?

So much of my identity sprung from the first few years of my life. And it does for my boys too. Tonight I wish the amount of love I have for them would be enough. Enough to conjure up their stories. Their complete stories.

But it isn't.

And so I'll repeat the same stories. The stories of when our story first started together. And hope that it's enough, until of course it's not. Then I'll rely on grace and mercy to help them heal.

Tariku wrote a note tonight after storytelling. "for mom and dad from Tariku. Thank you mommy for adopting me from Ethopea. Amarica is a grate plase to live and this is for you to dad. I love you two." Below that is the Ethiopian flag and the American flag.

I love him so much. That's why it hurts so bad to see his tears and hear the meaning behind his words. That's why international adoption cannot be entered into lightly. It's not about you, it's about them. And they have so much healing to do. I guess we all do, don't we?

Grace and mercy. Thankful for those too.

iPhone Friday

2011-11-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

Pics lately. I have every intention of getting back to the blog but it turns out I've neglected many things in the wake of the water party. Laundry? Been doing it for days. Cooking? What cooking? Excited to get back on the wagon but finding it's easier taking baby steps. And by baby steps I mean catching up on DVR.

No joke Mitigu walks around like this on Zach's shoulder. He's not only the baby whisperer, turns out he's the cat whisperer too.

Speaking of cats...Miti was great help during Water event planning.

How much do you love the new hat?

The cheering squad for the big boys's basketball games.

We celebrated my beautiful niece's 1st birthday. Love her so much.

Meet "Ron Weasley" Trysten's new fish. His teacher wrote a note home "We have a few aggressive goldfish that keep eating my other small fish. Please let me know if you would be willing to take one or more off my hands." I wrote back, "Sure I guess we'll take 1." Tman is totally responsible for him so I'm just praying the little guy lives for a long time in goldfish years lest his blood be on my eldest's hands.

This coat is so cute. I mean, really, she looks like a dessert.

Did I mention it's almost Christmas music season? If you're ~~cheap~~ someone like me you rent CDs at the library and listen to them before buying them. What if they suck? I can't waste money like that. Yippeee! Just a few weeks and I can unleash the power of the Christmas tune.

Wine to Water 2011

2011-11-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

A few days can give you perspective on something that is so wildly magical and blessed. I'm happy I chose to give it a few days before I blogged about the event.

That's what it was, Saturday night. Magical and blessed. I posted more about the details last year and most of them were the same.

Set up this time took considerably less time because the people helping were the same people from last year (and some even helped 2 years ago). We were like a well oiled machine, we were. So Saturday morning just brought my parents, Leslie and Zach with me to the space where we did a few finishing touches.

Saturday afternoon brought basketball games for the boys and my now official good friend to camp. Captain Murdock came whilst my bestie Chrissy had curlers in my hair and was probably straddling me applying make up. When you unleash these stay-at-home mamas on a night like this one there's no telling what will happen with hair and make up. Also, there may or may not have been some very dirty music playing at the time too, we do enjoy a pre-party pump up around here.

The Captain and her amazing friends came with us to help with last minute details at the space before opening time. Captain is even better than her blog persona. She's beautiful, tiny, smart, loving, a great friend and really funny. As my "fine art liaison" she was terrific with Excel and invaluable as someone who handled the many questions when the auction was closed. One of my favorite parts of the night was having her there, and I'm not just saying that because she drove 6 hours and had to sleep on a bunk bed with my large dogs scaring her friends. Captain had more to say about the event here. Also, she was the photographer. Can you believe I didn't bring my camera? Completely forgot.

The event isn't all glamour, however, just a half hour before showtime the elevator was still only working with my top secret key fob. This picture was taken just before my 10 minute lecture ~~conversation~~ to the elevator man in which I basically said, "You promised me a working elevator, make it happen within the next 30 minutes or I swear to you I will unleash a plague of locusts (or just my cop friend who packs heat wherever he goes)." Here with my sister, Kara and Chrissy.

One of my favorite parts of the space, right when you walk in. Choose your favorite wine glass.

Lots of Christmas trees. Reminds people about the spirit of Christmas. We have always been and will always be about trading consumerism for compassion at Christmas.

And lit up wine glasses? Perfect fit for the event.

Leslie had such a great idea here. The "Just add water table". We sold hot chocolate "sip", bath salts "soak" and soup, um..."soup". We also sold local wine (with money going to water). Are you in love with the custom labels on the wine? Thanks to my friend, Angie, they turned out beautifully.

Speaking of Leslie...that sister of mine is magic. She worked so hard on all of this. At one point in the night she divulged the small detail that she had been living on coffee the last few days. That's her way of telling me she had been thinking and dreaming and stressing about the event as much as I had been. I love her. I'm so, so thankful for her.

One of the other things Leslie took care of was organizing dessert makers. They were so delicious every. last. one of them.

One of the coolest parts of the night was how many people were asking when the presentation was going to be. This was the biggest indicator there were people there who hadn't heard about the water crisis before. (side note: this dress was beautiful in person but it didn't photograph well. But did I mention it had pockets! Loved the pockets!)

The music. First one up was a woman I met through my other sister-in-law, Kate. Katie was amazing. She was absolutely perfect for the venue. The second group up happened to be one man I'm so deeply in love with and the other is one of my good friends. They call themselves Moistly Cloudy. Don't ask. But Moistly was not just mostly amazing, they were simply spectacular.

Look at this space! Still the most beautiful spot in town.

Good friends came and supported. Can't express how good it feels to be lifted up on friends' shoulders when you're at your wits end. These two were some of the angels who did that for me.

After the night is mostly over, most people have left, it's a well kept secret that we have an "after party". Captain Murdock captured it well on her blog post. Captain Murdock and myself at the after party.

Again I'm at a loss. So many people help with this event. It would be physically impossible without my parents. They bring a lot of the stuff we use, they physically move most of the stuff in and out of the space. They donate so much time and money to make it work. They love me, it's so obvious on nights like that one.

And Zachary, of course Zachary. Everyone knows behind every great woman is a greater man and that is no doubt true of my relationship with that half of Moistly Cloudy. He is a perfect partner, so grateful for him.

Saturday night was our most successful Wine to Water yet in terms of number of people who came (around 250), amount of feedback I've gotten afterwards (sheer volume of emails asking how to "give" water for Christmas has been crazy big) and potentially dollars raised once it's all said and done. That's the best part of this whole thing. Everything everyone did to make it successful means at least 2 wells being dug. Means more than 500 people given clean water who were once without.

Captain texted me earlier, "You should hurry up and blog about hte party. I've been wanting to but don't want to steal your blog thunder."

I responded, "Plan to do that today. Please feel free. Only thunder to steal is God's and I don't think he'll mind."

It's so true. Something like this can only be described as a "God thing". So many little things that made it what it was wouldn't have been possible without some major miracles.

Been riding on a cloud of thanksgiving for the last week. Can't see that lessening anytime soon. Thanks for all of your prayers, all of you who came and all of you helped. Thank you, thank you.

pre-party

2011-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Because I don't have words yet (I'm pretty sure they don't come clearly when you're as tired as I am. Plus, I'm in a glass case of emotion so trust that I'm sparing you) for last night. So instead I'll discuss set up from Friday.

Remember how I've discussed with you that the space has no outlets inside? That we have to run extension chords out to the hallway? Really, this place is em-pty. It takes so much work to set up. Thankfully I have the world's best family and friends.

First thing is first. On Friday I loaded up the Honda Pilot, quite literally, with all things Wine to Water.

As soon as I arrived there were 15 of my friends and family ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work.

Cake pops were brought up by one of our generous dessert makers, titilating us all with their delicious looking frosting and sugary sweet smells. Truly, have you seen anything more beautiful?

This rather handsome duo practiced their music for us. Perfection.

Auntie Lindsey snuggled my Doba Days who was getting over some nasties and actually fell asleep on my mom's lap. Crazy.

I may or may not have sampled one of the art pieces. Also may or may not have won said art piece through my generous mom. May or may not be super happy about that.

Some of the sneaky (helpful) people upping the bidding before the night commenced. Classic them.

Did I mention the friends and family? This might be a theme of the series...but you probably knew that already.

2 more

2011-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

Okay everybody. Here are the last two. We were going to put more on the world wide web but we do want to reward the people who actually come to the party as well. Plus, some of them are so big and/or heavy that shipping would require a little more effort.

So here you go.

12) Hand sculpture.

13) 16x20 canvas

For more information and details as to how to bid, go here. You have just over a day to get those bids in. Thank you so, so much. Remember that 100% of your donation goes to water. Happy bidding!

Art Auction

2011-11-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

Yippeee! It's here. I've seen so much of the art* that will be on display for the event this weekend and it just makes me so excited. As I mentioned here, I am giving you all a chance to win some of it as well. This is just a snap shot of the art, and I will probably be adding a piece or two throughout the week.**

Here are the rules:

Email me: (tesileagh@gmail.com) with the following: 1) The number of the piece you love, 2) Your highest bid, 3) your address (for shipping purposes).

The bidding begins now and will end Saturday, November 12th at noon. At the event this lovely lady will bid on your behalf. Feel free to make multiple bids on pieces because there is a chance you will be outbid on something. If you have any questions about the pieces, etc please email and ask! I am an open book with all things! Sunday afternoon you will get an email letting you know if you are the winning bidder. Oooh, exciting! Like Christmas!

And bid, baby bid! Remember that 100% of your donation goes to water.

Ready, set, go!

1) Framed 16x20 Mixed media acrylic painting on canvas.

2) Hand painted apron (by a woman who happens to be South African).

3) 20x20 fabric art with cotton fabrics, metallic threads, foiling and grandson's hand.

4) 8x10 photogloss paper.

5) 5'x4' quilt.

6) Purse with fabric paint

7) 8x10 custom framed photograph of Davenport, IA

8) 8x12 custom framed photograph of Wrigley Field

9) 16x20 acrylic on canvas

10) 8x10 framed watercolor

11) 8x10 custom framed photograph

Go!

*Leslie and I are not professional photographers so please don't judge the rather exceptional art with the rather ordinary camera work.

**If we have new pieces I will post a new blog that will alert you via Google Reader or what have you that there is something new. Or just do it the old fashioned way and check back in every day!

This week

2011-11-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

In less than a week the water party will be upon us. Which means lots of work until then.

I wanted to let you all in on it, though, because so many of you have written asking how you can be involved from across the country. So here's what I came up with.

Every year we do an art auction. This year we're letting you in on the ~~auction~~ action (much like the first year for those of you who have been there from the beginning). On Tuesday I will post pictures of a few of the pieces of art that will be up for bid the night of the party. You will be able to email me with your highest bid and someone (hopefully this beautiful friend) will bid on your behalf.

So check back here Tuesday, it will be worth it. You want a little teaser? The amazing, talented, beautiful Fiddlehead did this for water. I only kind of want you to bid on it because actually I really, really want it.

There's more where that came from. The artists have stepped it up this year and you stand to benefit when you join us for the online auction this Tuesday. Check back here then. It's going to be exciting!

Bean

2011-10-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

My Binyam. Oh my Binyam. A few weeks ago he got his full leg casts off and traded them for the under the knee variety. We got our first look at his feet post surgery and they looked amazing!

Binyam before. How much do you love his Halloween casts?

His tiny little legs with his surprisingly big feet!!!

And the close up. Amazing!

You want a comparison? Here you go.

God I love him.

There really aren't words in this language to perfectly describe Binyam's strength and courage. There just aren't. But he is amazing. He's been walking in his short casts since the day he got them on (despite getting 6" pins removed from his feet).

Yesterday he was doing wind sprints in them.

Any more surgeries? I don't know the answer to that for sure. His left foot looks perfect, his right still has a small turn in. I'm guessing we won't know for sure for a few months once Binyam is fully recovered and has worn his corrective shoes for awhile. For my laymen's eye (or mama's eye, as it were) I think they look beautiful and perfect. I'm praying for no more surgeries. Perhaps you could join us. Look at that face, he deserves a break does he not?

Last weekend

2011-10-28T07:16:00.000-07:00

we took a little hike with Leslie and her family through one of our local parks. It was a beautiful day, the perfect day really, to be hiking. When we sat down to dinner over the fire I commented that it was the kind of day I dreamed about when they lived in Chicago. I'd always wanted my kids to have close relationships with their cousins. Watching them together at the park reassured me all of those guilt trips I gave Jake and Leslie were worth it, our kids are great friends.

These two have the most amazing relationship. More on that later.

Binyam was still struggling with his walking casts. This meant that Zach and I (mostly Zach) carried that 50lb boy the entire hike. It was not easy but it was worth it because dang if that kid isn't too cute.

Doozie got to walk my mother-in-law's dog most of the hike which was a legit dream come true for her.

Just another moment where I ~~push~~ encourage her to do something she was scared poopless about.

Not much fear in this guy. Hilarious.

We all love Sinta. And how could you not, really?

My Bean, he's such a great sport.

Of course there were glamourshots. There always are, aren't there?

water

2011-10-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

This party is upon us. I'm actually really, really excited. Seeings this is my 3rd time at this, the organization is fairly basic. A lot of my email to past supporters look like this,

"Hey! It's that time of year again. Thanks for helping us the last two, would you consider a 3rd?"

Thankfully every time the responses have been some variation of,

"Of course! Would love to!"

This year will look a little different. We'll be trying a new (still local) brand of wine. Instead of selling a bunch of painted Africas we are asking artists to paint/sculpt/jewel in their specific medium. I'm so excited about the prospects!

It will still be in the ridiculously amazing venue, still amazing desserts and awesome music (one of the bands who will be playing will feature a man I get to sleep next to every night. Hearing his "band" practice has been ridiculously thrilling these last few weeks).

My rather talented sister-in-law has some fun stuff up her sleeve as well. You'll want to be there to see just what that is.

Most importantly, there will be wells built by this party. So far, just over $20,000 has been raised at these parties alone. The Quad Cities is alive with people who are passionate about our brothers and sisters around the world.

And that excites me. In inspires me and it rejuvenates me.

There is no shortage of good causes in this world. We all know that. Water is vital and regardless of anything else, that remains true.

Every year around this time of year water is talked about even more than usual at our house. This is the first time Tomas has understood the discussion. When we were driving home a few weeks ago the subject was brought up again. Tomas's history has so much to do with water. He remembers fetching it from a very early age. He remembers the headaches, the back aches, everything about it. When he was relaying another story about it I turned to him and said, "That's why I do this Tomas, so no other kids like you have to fetch water that is so far away and so heavy and so dirty that it could make them sick...or worse."

He started to cry then whispered, "Thank you, mommy, it means so much."

One look into his eyes and my passion for this is renewed, my determination abounds. Regardless of how much money is raised this year I know in the end that I did everything I could to be able to look into that boys eyes and feel worthy of his love.

So please join us. If you can't come to the party, consider donating to the cause. On this website there is the invite to the event or if you want more information feel free to email me at tesileagh@gmail.com.

*Cheers!*

Week in photos

2011-10-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

I literally have a list 6 deep of blog posts I need to write about. The last few months have been spent reorganizing my priorities and I realized just how "plugged in" I had become. Almost to the detriment of my real life relationships. The relationships I've built online have been amazing, life giving sources for me but I found it smarter to delve into the relationships right in front of me a bit more. And it has been wonderful. But I've missed this little blog and the people I get to read about on their blogs, etc. So if you notice I'm gone for awhile, nothing sinister is amiss, more than likely it has everything to do with the pretty remarkable family and friends I've surrounded myself with. Or the big party I'm planning, yeah it could have something to do with that too. More on that later.

Lots of bloggers do the week in photos and since I've gotten the new iPhone with such a great camera on it, I've been having fun taking pictures of everyday moments that I'm thankful I've documented. So that's what these posts will be.

As noted, we got the iPhone. Zach has been amazing at helping me set up all the apps, clouds and all other things that made no sense to be before.

Last soccer games of the season for the big 4. Tomas excelled in soccer. He really, really did. And he loved it. Look at his face, come on.

Tariku scored his first goal last week and this week it was Trysten's turn. He was super excited.

Shockers of all shockers, Dailah also scored her first goal. For a girl who previously spent 1 quarter playing actual soccer and the other 3 quarters holding hands of coaches and teammates, this was a surprise. A rather cute one, but a surprise nonetheless.

My niece Adley Sue met us for lunch and then we took off for camp where I took pictures of my side of the family for my mom's Christmas card. Ridiculous adorableness ensued.

My family is freakin' amazing. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record on that, but really. When Binyam was in surgery my mom tore out what probably felt like an acre of weeds. Then this weekend she bought some edging stuff and we grabbed some mulch and voila. Workhorses. Love them for that.

Dailah saved up enough money over the last few years to buy herself a DS and a girl game. She was super thrilled. The DS is pink and the game she bought is "Pinkalicious". Oy.

I gave a water presentation at our church. That church is amazing. We love it more and more every day. So, so thankful for them. It went well and they are very excited about the party...more on that later. ;)

I went out in public looking like this. *shudder*

Been working with my Bodystep group. In 2 weeks we launch all new moves and music. This requires me to learn 3 hours worth of choreography. Add to that the party (have I mentioned that?) and various other considerations and I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed at all that needs to be done.

Took Tariku's hair out of his braids. He wanted an afro for his school pictures. I love how weird Einstein it looks when it's right out of braids and combed out completely.

Dailah decided she wanted to put her old toddler bed on top of her big bed and sleep like that. Apparently there's a princess in her dying to get out.

IPhone 4s

2011-10-14T16:44:00.001-07:00

I will be gone for an undetermined amount of time due to the recent purchase of the new iPhone and the beautiful eyes on this guy.

I know, I know

2011-10-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

if you're anything like me you feel like you're the kind of person who wants to know everything about everything. You probably spend endless hours researching new ideas on new ideas and various websites on points of interest. Then you learn something that you find so revolutionary you almost wish you wouldn't have read/watched it. Because if you act on what you know is true (and wrong) then a lot has to change in your cozy little life. And you look back and you think, "Dang that was nice when my head was buried in the sand just a few short minutes ago." But you can't put that information back. You can't take it out of your head. If you're like me you'll probably lose a little sleep over it and then swear to take baby steps to improving your specific part of this world.

I'm only one little lady but I can still do all one little lady is capable of. In this case, I can tell you.

Halloween is a coming. This means Americans will spend a redonkuless amount of money on chocolate.

Rage Against the Minivan is one of my favorite bloggers. First she wrote this post. Which was pretty "yikes!"

But this post brought it home.

I know, I know, you didn't click those links. Which is understandable. You came to check in with the 5 cutest kids in the world, the husband who pleases his little lady and the little lady herself but I need you to check those links out. It's on my mind a lot lately and should be on your mind too. So if you're at all interested in the goings on at hotflawedmama then you need to go there. Otherwise if you see me in the grocery store we just might not have anything to talk about. :)

Come back here and tell me what you think.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

Last night we took off with our friends Matt, Angie and their daughter, Taylor, to the pumpkin patch near our house. We'd heard so many good things about it but had never gone. Turns out it was just an overpriced bust, if you ask me. No matter, the kids couldn't care less. Tariku ended up with hay in his hair, Binyam had grass stains on his casts, Trysten's allergies were on overdrive, Dailah ended up with a "baby" (pumpkin) and Tomas got to be as loud as he wanted in the great outdoors. Nothing bust about that.

Plus we got lots of great pictures, which makes mama super happy.

Apparently you could pay $3/person to take a legit ride in this goat cart but we thought instead we'd keep the goat grounded and take a picture for free.

Animals love Binyam. They love licking his toes most of all. Our dogs, the cat, they all love them some Binyam. This cow wanted to come home with him. He wasn't such a fan.

Our Doozie Boozie

Tomas-ay and his fake smile.

Trysten and his real smile.

I was there. Really, I was!

It was beautiful out. I don't care what you people say in the "big city" Iowa is God's land, man. It's America. ;) But really, it's been absolutely beautiful out. Last night was no exception.

Poor Binyam. Couldn't go in the straw maze, couldn't go/do many things. But we dragged his wheel chair in the solar maze (which we actually got kicked out of, whoops) and anywhere else we could go. Zachary, being the best dad he is, helped Binyam pick out his pumpkin.

Tariku. Loved this picture, his real (beautiful) smile.

Just another shot of the quintessential American back drop.

Zach and I had to apologize to the Matt and Angie for the rather lame pumpkin patch. Matt made the best comment when he said, "It's never about what you're doing, it's always about the company you keep."

And it was true. We've been very lucky to get to know Matt and Angie more and more these last few months. So blessed by their friendship.

Regardless, we now have 5 pumpkins gracing our porch. There's something pretty cool about that for me.

Vegetable Pot Pie

2011-10-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

I must admit I'm a leeeetle embarrassed so many of you asked for my vegetable pot pie recipe. For many reasons, really, but mostly because it's easy. And not at all good for you. And I found it on this site.

So if you came here for something revolutionary, you've come to the wrong place.

But if you're anything like me and sometimes have just a few minutes to whip up dinner and really hate the idea of your second ~~or third~~ pizza night of the week, then this recipe is for you. If you have high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, this recipe is not for you.

I doubled the recipe for the 5 kids and me. We had nothing left. Truth be told I could've tripled it and I have no doubts that would've been gone too. Also, because I'm lazy, I skipped the egg bit. Who are we fooling with the egg brushed on top? Seriously.

Ingredients

1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of potato soup
1 (15 ounce) can mixed vegetables, drained
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 (9 inch) frozen prepared pie crusts, thawed
1 egg, lightly beaten

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, combine potato soup, mixed vegetables, milk, thyme, and black pepper.
Spoon filling into bottom pie crust. Cover with top crust, and crimp edges to seal. Slit top crust, and brush with beaten egg if desired.
Bake for 40 minutes. Remove from oven, and cool for 10 minutes before serving.

the interwebs

2011-10-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

I am constantly surprised at the things I learn from this internet. The people I "meet", the people I fall in love with, the things that move me, motivate and inspire me, etc. Today alone, I actually quit sipping my wine to process and receive so many great blogs I read. I thought the only way I could share with you and discuss is by connecting you to them.

Amanda just had a really great post on something horrifying going on in our world. Amanda, in case you're new to hotflawedmama, traveled with us to pick up her son Teshome when we picked up Tariku. I've known her for the better part of 4 years and she, like my wine tonight, keeps getting better with age. Love her.

This woman loves espressos and Jesus, need I say more? No but seriously, I love her blog. She just had a great post on attachment that I'm currently chewing on. I'm horrible with band aids. Literally, I'm scrooge. Our rule in this family is, "If it's not bleeding, you don't get those $4 bandaids." I'm currently rethinking this logic.

This blog I just came across tonight because it was linked up on one of my regular's blogs. I love the way she wrote about her new babes. It reminds me of something we heard a lot when Binyam was having surgery on his feet or when people noticed his feet, "Did you know he had club feet before you adopted him." "Um, yes, sir/ma'am, I did. This says nothing of me other than the fact that I wanted this kid as my son so freakin' badly. Selfishly I wanted that smile to greet me every morning, can you blame me?"

Her blog I've been a little obsessed with for awhile. Tonight the last line of her blog is, "Only God can turn a glow stick into grace." Not sure it gets much better than that.

Last night we were at the wedding of a good family friend. The kids look forward to weddings because they just love to dance. Who doesn't? Binyam is still in his wheelchair because of his full leg casts but that didn't stop him. I dare say there was no one on that dance floor who was happier than he was. Binyam was spinning himself around, shaking his head to and fro, doubled over in laughter. It was amazing.

Tonight at dinner he was eating when Mitigu crawled up his lap and started licking his lips. After Binyam pushed Mitigu down he was just laughing. Which got the other kids laughing. Soon Dailah yelled, "Binyam has happy tears!" and he did.

The thing about Binyam is I've never seen the face of God the way I see it in my son. Here is a boy who has gotten the shit kicked out of him by life yet still finds every moment of life deserving of celebration. Binyam is full of grace and love and joy and hilarity and it.slays.me.

Tonight as I put him down to sleep I cradled his head so he'd look me in the eyes, "I love you Binyam-ay." After his big smile, "I wuv you mommy." Then he threw his casts around my hips, arms around my neck and lifted. A full body hug that proved life is ridiculously delicious and ridiculously good.

today

2011-09-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

Doozie is sick. Why is she still so cute when she's sick? What does it say about me that I love when they are sick and snuggly and all cute in their glassy-eyed doped up look? Either way, that's been my day.

Made vegetable pot pie tonight. 2 pot pies actually. And they were gone. All of it. Zach wasn't even here. Tomas and Tariku basically split a pie with a little of Binyam's help. Trysten asked, "Mom do you think this is the most I've eaten of your homemade meals that have veggies in it?!?!?!?" It was.

Been through a lot the last few months. But today, perhaps more than ever, I'm looking at the future with such freedom and enthusiasm it should probably be illegal. In the end the only thing I can say that I'm feeling right now is that I'm so thankful for my husband. So, so thankful I get to take on the future with him by my side.

That's it. That's the space I'm in now. Off to snuggle with the only other body full of estrogen besides myself in this house.

Hope you're in a similar space tonight!

my hero, my love

2011-09-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a little something about Zach. He loves a good challenge. In the 10 years I've known him he's had approximately 10,756 hobbies. He'll pick something up, try it out for a few weeks and then get bored with it and stop. But those few weeks he's in it, he's in it. And, because he's kind of a prodigy at everything-annoying, he is ridiculously successful in those few weeks.

So there's that side of Zach.

There's also the guy that says, "I think I'll run the half marathon in a couple of weeks." Without training. Just to see if he can.

The personal trainer in me kept asking, "You going to run tonight? You going to train this week?"

He did. Twice. Never going over 7 miles on his practice runs.

Sunday, he took off for 13.1 miles at the QC Marathon. He wasn't going for any kind of record, just to finish.

And he ended up doing really well. So well that the kids and I were at the finish expecting him to be another 20 minutes or so when he just jogs by us.

I took no pictures of his face running for that reason. I did get a couple of his backside but those are just for me. ;)

His cheering squad.

The kids made him super cute signs. A little rain made them almost see through but they were still super cute. Even if 3 of the kids were laying on the ground waiting for their dad to finish...as he ran past them. Either way, I saw him and started jumping up and down, yelling and yes-crying. So proud of him.

There are so many things about Zach that inspire me, challenge me and make me green with envy but mostly they all just make me so very happy he's mine.

Also, he told me when the course veered off and separated the half marathoners from the full marathoners, he considered just going for the full. Gulp.

This just in

2011-09-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

I made vegetarian chili tonight and the kids ate it. Without complaining.

This is blog worthy. It's actually newsworthy but since I no longer work for the TV station, I'll have to stick to this blog.

You're welcome, America.

Mitigu

2011-09-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

On Thursday after I picked up the kids from school I decided to go to the Humane Society. Trysten has been ~~begging~~ asking for a bird, a gerbil anything that can be just his. So I thought we'd go take a look at the birds and other tiny little gross animals so that I could extinguish his ~~hope~~ love of any furry friends outside of dogs. That's it, just dogs.

I'm not a cat person. My parents had cats for the sole purpose of killing their many mice that roamed our country home. They'd get declawed, get outside, get run over or in a fight. We had one cat (Kitso, I think it was) who got into a fight and/or run over and messed up his jaw. He lived, for many years after, looking all kinds of messed up. Needless to say, we didn't love our cats, they just served a very specific function.

I met Zach and went to his house. His mom had 3 cats. One of them was mentally unstable, one of them really didn't want anything to do with anything but was always around and then there was another one without a tail who loved Zach. Even at the ripe age of almost 20 he would let Zach cradle him like a baby and walk to and fro. It was amazing. But not inspiring.

I wasn't a cat lady.

And then I took my 5 kids to the Humane Society by myself. First we went to the dogs where Dailah immediately started crying. Begging me to bring them all home because dogs weren't meant to live like that, in cages. Clearly didn't see that coming.

"You wanna go see the cats? Let's go see the cats!"

So we went in a room with about 10 cats/kittens. And they fell in love. And they were sooo cute with the feline friends. Begging me to buy one (actually, 5, one each). Saying sweet things like, "We'll scoop up their poop! We'll feed them! We'll do everything, once you buy them!"

Naturally, I texted Zach (who was golfing at the moment).

"What do you think about getting a cat?" With this picture attached.

He responds, "You hate cats."

Me: "Well I did...until now. I think I'll probably just go ahead and buy one then."

Z: "Are you serious right now?"

Me: "Um yes, is that ok?"

At this point he calls me and we discuss. We end the conversation with him saying, "I love you. You do what you gotta do. I just hit the best shot of my life."

And so I took that as a "Oh I'm so excited to have this new cat in our house! Please, commence to the purchase of said kitten who is of undetermined age, undetermined health and bring him to our home with 5 children and 2 dogs!"

I asked the fine employees (who seemed remarkably Emo actually) to put a hold on the little black kitten while we ran to the supermarket and grabbed the essentials. Quick text to Zach:

"Yeah, so I went ahead and bought that kitten. Maybe you want to meet us here to meet him?"

During the car trip to the store we had a really awesome conversation about adoption (because we were, after all, adopting the kitty). It might've been the very first time in the 3 1/2 years since Tariku has been home when he realized just how much he was wanted in the year it took to bring him home. It ended up being a very sweet Bob Sagget moment that was completely unplanned and completely beautiful.

When we got back to the Humane Society, I mentioned to the kids that probably they should be super nice to their dad when he came in since he gave the final okay to get the kitten. When Zach walked in the door this is what happened.

Did I mention that 2 minutes after I officially bought the cat I had to go teach classes? A quick, "Good luck with all of this! See you in a few hours!" And I peace-ed out.

The good news is Zach is a real sucker for animals. I came home to find this. Mitigu (an Ethiopian name that was part of Tariku's time there) snuggled up on Zach's lap. Sucker.

Oh his sweet, sweet, face.

Might I mention he's kind of my shadow? Mitigu and hotflawedmama as we descend the stairs so I can make nachos for the two of us (what can I say? We share a love of chihuahua cheese.)

There it is. I freakin' love this kitten. 10 wks old. Cute as all get out. I plan on him snagging the mice that get on my every last nerve and then snuggle up with me during our naptime.

Oh, and of course it's a boy. I told myself I'd buy the one that seemed best with our kids and the cat that the kids were naturally drawn to. Of course it's male.

Stupid testosterone.

5 for 5

2011-09-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you hotflawedmama and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.

p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

Tattoo

2011-09-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

On a much lighter note...

I got a tattoo a week or so ago. It's a tattoo I'd been wanting for awhile now. For various reasons, Zach and I agreed now would be the perfect time to get it. And so I did.

This picture was taken right after it was done. It's healed now and looks better, but this is the only good picture I have of it. It's actually straight, though hard to tell depending on how I'm standing (I had debated getting it straight or having it go along the angle of my collarbone, I know, such difficult matters I consider).

Why did I get this? Well firstly because it's true. For a long time I doubted it. You know? Don't we all? But we are called God's beloved many times in the Bible (Google tells me 70 times) and I really love that idea, that God truly and sincerely loves me.

When I look back at various moments in my life I realize that the times when I've messed up severely are the times when I've forgotten that simple truth. That I've doubted or outright disbelieved that God could possibly love me so much as to call me His "beloved".

But it's true. And perhaps for the first time in my life recently I get what that fully means. I get that by knowing I am God's beloved within the deepest parts of me it will change the way I treat myself, it will change the way I treat the people around me. It will allow me to move through humanity without skin. To allow love instead of fear to seep out and cover the people I meet and love every day.

I'm probably not going to succeed every day, I know that. But at least it still remains true every day.

My other debate before the tattoo? Part of me wanted to get it so that I could read it when I looked in the mirror-making it illegible to you all.

Then I decided on getting it so you all could read it. Yeah I wanted you to read it. Because I figured if someone saw me every day (say, taking a class from me) then maybe one of those days they'll actually accept it. And internalize it. Or maybe one of those days they'll just need to hear it. Maybe you only ever see it/me once? Well perhaps you still needed to hear it just that one time.

So there you go. I love tattoos. I will never again get one on my collarbone, by the way, mostly because it hurt like a mother...but I love this tattoo. And it's okay if you don't. :)

You're still God's Beloved. And so am I.

Binyam

2011-09-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

Binyam had his 3rd surgery on Wednesday. I like to think this was his last but the way the doctor talked about his right foot being really messed up when he saw it, I'm not entirely convinced. We are still hopeful that it will be.

The week leading up to surgery we were talking about how he'd have surgery. Binyam seemed fairly blaze about the whole thing, but his siblings started freaking out as soon as they realized what it all meant. So much so that on Wednesday morning when I went to get the kids up for school, the big boys were already dressed...with their Ethiopian bands on as a sign of solidarity.

My very generous mom came over on Tuesday night so that she could get the kids to school (and pull weeds in my garden. Ai yi yi) while Zach and I got Bini to the hospital. This meant that I got snuggles and Zach got to play with my Binyam pre-surgery.

Surgery took right around 2 hours and Binyam did so well. In fact, the nurses reported that he smiled during surgery. He is inspiring. The doctor had said as long as he can keep down oral pain medicine and some food, we would be able to go home that day. We were hopeful but we were adamant about not going home until Binyam was ready. It took him awhile until he was out of the fog, throwing up all of the pain meds/ the food for awhile. But then he did it. He kept it all down. And we got to go home.

The only problem was, my mom took our Honda Pilot home and we had just one way back...my mom's BMW. It's a convertible. It's a 2 door. We had Binyam with his casts, his wheelchair, me, Zach and various stuff my mom had in her car. Zach could hardly reach the stick shift. It.was.amazing.

Binyam had a good night the first night. He woke up happy. 'Nuff said.

2 days later Binyam and I went grocery shopping (which, incidentally, I will never do again. I'm sweating just remembering it.)

This boy. Oh this boy. He is strong. He is brave. He inspires me so much that I'm even more humbled at the honor of being his mom. I have no idea why I got so blessed. But I am. So, so blessed by this boy. Continued prayers and happy thoughts for his recovery are appreciated. Binyam will be in full leg casts for about 6 weeks and then a few more weeks in casts just under his knees. For a boy who never stops, this is tantamount to prison. :)

Gone Campin'

2011-09-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went to a truly beautiful campsite. It was over 2 hours away from our house so it was our first "official" camping trip. I don't even know how to express how amazing the weekend was. The weather was perfect, the company was perfect. There was a playground for the kids to spend some time swinging and making new friends. We hiked, we laughed, we loved. It.was.perfect.

Our bed. A Queen air mattress. Judge if you must.

Our brood's set up.

The set up. Did I mention we had the best campsite?

Tariku helped whip up some mac and cheese for one of our lunches.

Z helped dish it out.

There was some light reading by the fire.

Saturday Zach and the kiddos decided they wanted to do some major fishing. So first, he had to give some casting lessons.

The fishermen/woman.

I dislike fishing (bor-ing) so I thought I should probably bring my chair and books. I read a little, dozed a little. mmmm. Bliss.

Not sure I could love this picture more. Tariku was further to the left, he didn't fit in the frame.

The catch of the day. No joke.

Doozie was over it after a handful of minutes. She became my little buddy who would wake me up if someone got a nibble on their line.

Oh, and she sucked on a blue sucker. That matched her eyes.

This guy was the next to quit fishing. Dang he's cute.

After getting back to the site and a snack we decided it was time for a hike.

We found some cool looking berries and other plants.

We I took a lot of pictures of the kids.

Trysten turned the camera on us (side note: how camper-ish do I look right now? Yup, all about the socks and shoes.)

Whenever we go on walks Tomas is constantly evaluating sticks. He takes forever to pick out the perfect stick. I asked him about it this weekend. Apparently he would do that in Ethiopia. He'd pick the perfect stick to put on his back to help him carry 2 jugs of water. At 4 years old.

On our way back we found this perfect log.

We tried to get them to jump off at the same time with no luck. So I had to show them how to do it.

Their attempt.

Zach's turn.

The twins.

Binyam loves him some pop. Loves it.

Saturday night was one of the best nights of my life. I can't even explain why. We spoiled the kids with as many chips, s'mores and pop they could handle. Oh my. So. Fun. Zach was, in a word, manly. So hot.

I developed a love of knives. Zach realized he kind of liked my newfound love of knives. He also liked my new tattoo.

They were loving it.

His favorite way to prepare beans.

My dinner. Veggie burgers, fresh tomatoes, onions. mmmmm.

S'mores. I was in so much bliss I didn't even notice...

What can I say? Like mother, like son.

If you don't already, you need to do this with your family. We put away the cell phones, all of the other distractions. We just spent time with each other. The kids literally cried when I told them it was time to go. Can't wait to do it again.

Random

2011-09-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

This is how much I love the man behind the camera.

My boys. I love them so much. So, so much.

I became a leeeeetle obsessed with the gray background.

There are no words for the amount of love I have in my heart for this guy.

The girls

I'm really in love with this picture. Because you can tell we are waiting on something. On our man who completes the picture in every single way.

Me as matriarch

The people I love more than life itself squeezed into one little picture. Blessed.

Family Pics

2011-09-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

We are thinking the middle. Although these are probably more accurate.

The kids

2011-09-05T19:54:00.000-07:00

The last one, right?

Family Pics 2011

2011-09-05T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today we set out for parts unknown to try to capture good pictures of the family. I look forward to this time of year every year because I actually really enjoy photography. Also, I really love our family. Those two things makes these few hours a lot of fun. Zach actually does much of the picture taking. My responsibilities typically include choosing clothes, location, overall look, etc. This is one reason Zach and I make a pretty remarkable team. And our kids? Fuggettaboutit. Way too cute.

Our babes...

Circus

2011-09-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday Papa Frank bought us tickets to the 200th anniversary of Barnum and Bailey Ringling Brothers Circus. It was Tomas and Binyam's first time at the circus, which is always fun.

Tariku was literally on the edge of his seat the entire time.

Trysten was just waking up from his nap. He still plays with his hair when he's tired...even during the Star Spangled Banner.

Dailah, who is facially expressive as it is, did not disappoint.

Tomas (no picture) smiled in awe, looked from adult to adult with eyes so big. He loved it.

Binyam, as mentioned previously, was over it almost just as soon as it started. Mimi Terre saved the day with some snuggles and hand ear muffs. It didn't appear that he minded the treatment in the least.

Circus was good. I'm over the animals, can we just lose those all together please? The feats of strength, the flexibility and balance? Loved it.

Happy Birthday Binyam!

2011-09-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

On August 31st our Binyam turned 5. Since I took kind of a self imposed hiatus from electronics lately (you notice?) I have just one picture from his day. Horrible.

But for breakfast he wanted donuts. So donuts he got. Chocolate, with chocolate milk to drink.

For lunch he wanted cereal. Chocolate puffs. So more chocolate he got.

For dinner he wanted (or his older siblings told him he wanted...tough to say) Casey's pizza. Sausage and pepperoni for the kids. Cheese for the adults.

Aunt Kait called on Skype to sing our birthday boy a sweet sweet song.

Just thinking about this boy brings tears to my eyes.

He is sweet, he is funny, he is tough and loving. He is strong and smart and beautiful and full of life and joy.

The last few weeks while his older siblings were at school Binyam and I have been hanging out a lot. His language development has flourished, his confidence in his verbal abilities has gotten much stronger. It has been so fun to see him make huge strides in such a short amount of time.

Binyam gets over stimulated really easily. At his birthday he was virtually in a comatose state, the same could be said at the circus we went to a few days ago. I think so much of it has to do with his ability to feel. This guy runs around as if he isn't wearing any skin. I love that about him, but it also makes it quite clear that he is vulnerable all of the time. Which is super hard as a parent.

Binyam starts school tomorrow. I'm going to miss all of our time together. But I'm thrilled for him. He'll be in an environment that is ripe for learning, that knows exactly which needs of Binyam's need met. I'm so excited for him.

Truly though, I learn so much from this little guy. If I can re-train myself to treat each moment with as much love and joy as he does, my life will be as big of a testament to love as his is. And that's saying something huge.

Love you, Binyam-ay.

Splash landing

2011-09-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about living in the same area for 7 years is that we get to see so much growth. Our community is growing and changing in some really awesome ways.

A few weeks ago Zach and the kids stumbled upon a new splash landing park, of sorts, and decided we all needed to go back as a family. It is so much fun. It's right next to the Mississippi River so the view is breathtaking and the kids run around for hours while Zach and I read and talk. Doesn't get much better than that.

Boys

Boys for realz

Then Zach decided to do some Glamorshots (you remember those?)

But this was my favorite. I look so 80s rock n roll. I've struggled my whole life letting go of late 80s early 90s. I say this knowing I am not old enough to qualify that statement. I'm an old soul, can't help it.

I tried turning the camera on Zach but he isn't flexible enough to work with me. Also, he seemingly only has 2 faces. His smile and his poo face. Damn if I don't love them both.

Then these two. Well these two looked so old that it took my breath away. Also, remarkably, they have the same body types.

Futbol

2011-09-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

Soccer season is upon us. Binyam is out this season because his next surgery for his club feet is on September 14th. That leaves the other 4...on 3 teams. Trysten is on 1, Tomas and Tariku are on another and then Dailah is on the 3rd.

I played soccer for the majority of my life. In fact, I'm looking to join an adult club sometime soon as well. I love soccer. It's been my favorite sport for as long as I can remember. So definitely watching my kids enjoy it makes my heart full.

Trysten loves being the goalie. I'm not quite sure why, usually he's the kind of kid who gets bored if he's not involved in every play of the game he's playing. But something about it, he loves. I was actually surprised at how decent he was. He's not what one might call "aggressive" but the first game found him diving for the ball and running out to get it. I was pleasantly surprised with his tenacity.

Dailah was on the big field for the first time this year. This girl cracks me up. Sometimes she's running towards the ball being all aggressive and in it and then other times she's sitting on the field talking to her friends. Kind of love that about her.

Tomas shocked the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. For a guy who doesn't always come across as "athletic" he was lovin' it and was definitely more natural than at any other game he's tried. He works hard, and he wants it so bad. Soccer is a sport that rewards those kinds of things. Plus, the kid is big. So when he comes at the other 1st/2nd graders full force they tended to just get out of the way. I loved it. Love him.

Tariku, well Tariku is a freak of nature, for lack of better term. This kid is so good at everything he does. Soccer is no exception. He was everywhere. Everywhere. He has so much energy so midfield was the perfect place for him. That didn't stop him from helping out everywhere else though either. Tariku loves sports. He lives and breathes them. I love seeing him so happy, so focused, so joyful.

Poor Binyam. He wanted to play so badly. Next season. Definitely next season.

After watching their first games I realized they are at the ages where it starts becoming more of a game as opposed to mob mentality. It inspired me to get more active in their soccer lives. So I took them outside to teach them a few of the basics. First a few explanations of the game.

Then, after noticing that they all kick with their toes (typical first way to kick) I showed the proper place to kick from. (What? Not all moms teach their kids soccer in a dress? Lame)

After various fun drills and just overall fun times, I showed them how they can practice "passing" to themselves. They thought I was super cool so that was an added bonus.

I am just enjoying this stage of parenting so much. When it feels less like survival and more like genuine enjoyment. Love it.

just us

2011-08-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

I never print off pictures. This blog acts as our photo books too so sometimes it's time for a picture post.

A "Little" Birthday party

2011-08-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

We had "the littles'" birthday party last weekend. Because their birthdays are within a month of each other, it's just easier to celebrate once.

This was the outfit Dailah picked out.

I found comfort in the fact that a few of my best friends happen to have amazing kids who are then best friends with my kids. Thus, birthday parties are parties for the adults as well.

Zach dressed, unbeknownst to him, to match our kitchen.

My nephew Cassius was there. It's ridiculously hard not to smother him with love whenever I see him.

Niece Adley too. Those cheeks.

Jake decided Sinta needed a nap. I firmly believe it was just so he could watch ~~football~~ Cake Boss in my room.

The girls could be found playing Barbies and such in Dailah's room.

The boys could be found in costume...even ones 4x too small like with Tariku's.

These two just look so old. It's kind of freaking me out.

We, of course, got a cookie cake. My parents needed to leave early and my dad loves him some cookie cake. So...

Zach with his ridiculously beautiful judgement face.

Present opening time.

The kids.

(Some of) the adults.

Trysten helped Binyam read his cards.

Zach getting a hand massage from his mama. Proof that you're never too old to get some TLC from your mom.

Binyam was getting a bike from Papa Frank. Since the Klipschs are all about suspense/drama/surprises they played up the bike giving well. First, kids were told to close eyes.

After that, there were lots of little ways to keep it from him. Suffice it to say, Binyam had gotten pretty overwhelmed/overstimulated with birthday festivities so it was a little anti-climatic. Regardless, it ended like this.

What's next? Ice cream and cake of course. My friend Ann made one of her very best cakes ever. She did, accidentally, write that Binyam was turning 4 when in fact he's turning 5 but it still tasted ridiculously good.

Love this picture of the two of them when "Happy Birthday" was being sung. They love each other.

Love them. The end.

On Being Conspicuous

2011-08-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

Last week at the mall a little boy lost his mom. We could hear him crying and explaining to the employee that he had lost his mom and he had no idea where she was. Soon enough a few employees were trying to help the distraught boy who happened to be Hispanic. And I watched as the employees were looking through the people in the store, looking through all the white people, the black people and turned with questioning eyes to the Hispanic people. When they didn't appear to be have lost a son, the employees moved on. Finally an equally hysterical mother found her son and the reunion made my kids and myself look at each other through tears in our eyes.

It occurred to me that my kids would need to be specific about just who they lost in the store. By that I mean specifically, it would help if my Ethiopian boys told the employees/helpful citizens that their mama was white.

Claudia sounded the AM (adoptive mama) alarm to blog about being conspicuous. Since Claudia is rather amazing I do as she says. And since there are many more AMs that are just as amazing, you need to read the other blogs linked to hers. It's worth it. Claudia's alone...worth the time. Whether you are an adoptive parent or not, this is information you need to know. So you aren't one of "those guys" who say inappropriate things. Or stare with mouths agape as we more conspicuous families make our way through this world.

When I think about our 3 years as a family that has a mix of different races/cultures I realize we are pretty blessed to live in a community where I never really feel super conspicuous. I really believe I get more comments about just how many kids I have rather than the fact that some of those kids happen to be black. This could definitely be because it's easier to comment on size rather than, say, blackness, but either way those are the comments I get most often.

That said one time we were walking in our downtown (when it was just Tariku) and a (black) man pointed at Tariku and asked simply, "Where'd you get that one?" There was no malice or ill intent with his comment, that was just the way he decided he wanted to ask his question. Which is crazy. Just so we're clear.

During that same walk downtown, interestingly enough, a (black) man looked at Tariku, looked at me, smiled and yelled, "The juice is loose!" Though his comment was sexual in nature I did feel like Tariku being there gave him the necessary ammo to shoot his pick up line off with abandon.

Truly, those are the only memories I have of people just coming right out and questioning the make up of our family. Of course we get the "are all of these yours" comments from time to time that I'm sure those adoptive mamas with adoptive kiddos of the same race do not get, but that's it.

Here's the thing: we knew this would happen. It helps that both Zach and myself are fairly extroverted people, it helps that we live in a community that has any number of multi racial/multi cultural families. All of that helps.

But I think what helps the most is that we talk about it as a family. After the boy in the mall was reunited with his family I asked my kids what they would tell the store employee. When none of them mentioned my whiteness I told them it'd be a really good idea to tell them that. Just because we are used to me being white and them being black does not mean the rest of the world is. So I'm trying to teach them that they can't control the way people react to us but they can control how they react to the people who question it and/or have a problem with it.

I think the nature of our conspicuousness will grow and change as our kids grow and change. Right now they are cute little black boys. When they grow up to be black teenagers, our society develops their own ugly stereotypes of that and I think our conspicuousness will become uglier in nature.

I loathe the day that happens. I just hope all of this practice enables us to react in a way that celebrates families like ours whether we are forced to react now or in the coming years.

Claudia said it best: "I would rather be conspicuous with my kids than anonymous without them."

That is my reality. I just hope one day my kids can say the same about life with me.

5 for 5

2011-08-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today I'm featuring a guest blogger here at hotflawedmama. Sarah is one of the blogamigas I met in Colorado. I can attest to her sincerity and the legitimacy of everything she says below.

guest blogger: Sarah Lenssen from Ask5for5
photos courtesy of Cate Turton / Dept. for International Development

First, thanks to Tesi for allowing me to post on her blog today! Today, more than 25 bloggers, including this one, are standing with me to Ask 5 for 5 for Africa. Here's why....

I began pursuing a BIG dream two weeks ago. After deciding I could no longer avoid the news about the famine in the horn of Africa, I had that gut feeling that I couldn't sit this one out. I HAD to do something because I could. Something bigger than I could do alone. That's when #Ask5for5 was born.

Two of my children, Ashen and Bereket, were adopted and are from the region affected by the drought in Ethiopia. They would be two of the statistics if they still lived there. I see my son’s and daughter’s faces in the photos of those suffering in the refugee camps. It could have been him. It could have been her. The thought haunts me.

And moms just like us are watching their children go hungry day after day. I can't imagine what it's like, but I have to –I have to be there to help them, because it could have been my children. These families have lost their livestock, their crops, food prices are inflated at the market if there any food there, and don’t have any more lifelines to tap into. Many are traveling hundreds of miles through parched land in hope of finding help. Many are dying along the way. It is estimated that 29,000 children have died in the last 90 days in the famine in Somalia alone.

But I KNOW we can do something about it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, we can rally ourselves and our friends to respond! I set up a fundraiser through See Your Impact. 100% of your gift will go to the relief and development organization World Vision, where it will be combined with government grants to multiply up to 5 times in impact!

You’ll receive updates on just how your funding is being used to help save lives affected by famine in East Africa. I'm amazed at how much we've raised already -- over $7,000 in just four days! We blew through our first 3 goals in just 3 days and are well on our way to $10,000 and beyond!

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter, and join our page to stay updated too!

I'm also looking for 100 bloggers to stand with Ask5for5 to spread the word during Social Media week, September 19th - 23rd. If you're interested, email me, ask5for5@gmail.com.

Thanks! Please donate and email your friends right now--don't wait for a calmer moment, because if you're like me, other demands inevitably crop up and you won't get to it. A child's life hangs in the balance, but you can help save her!

Gone Campin'

2011-08-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday we did a little camping. Granted, it was basically in our backyard but camping we did. So I packed my socks and shoes and off we went.

Mac and cheese and lots o chips for lunch.

While the kids went on a hike to find some lost treasures, I got to look at this and ~~think dirty thoughts~~ thank my lucky stars.

Always with the wrestling. Love Dailah's face as she approaches the top of the pile.

Practicing with my new lens.

Everyone was excited about fishing. So Zach worked his patootie off getting everyone's poles ready.

Just a girl and the outdoors.

Until baby brother remembered he can't be without her. If you don't think this screams "America" then something is seriously wrong with you.

Tomas's butt devoured his shorts.

Trysten still felt less than great but didn't want to miss the fishing. This is where dreams and reality meet. (That'd be him laying in the dirt, fishing.)

Tomas and Tariku decided to make their own poles with a stick and some line. Tariku's was tiny, about the size of Harry Potter's wand, for instance. Tomas's was huge, about the size of the tree from which all wands are made.

Love the way they look at their daddy.

This one fished for approximately 2 minutes and then decided to peace out and hang with Abe.

Zach earned his man card 100 times over. Dang that man is the best.

I did not earn any card whatsoever unless they give cards to people who take naps during family camping trips and don't wear bras when they make their kids s'mores.

Night sleeping went pretty well actually, despite the chorus of coyotes versus dogs and Cicadas screeching their lullabies. Kids got enough sleep, which is way more important than the fact that Zach and I didn't. We are hoping that changes the more we get used to sleeping outdoors with the obvious risk of murder.

Morning brought scrambled eggs by daddy and more fishing/playing.

Overall, a really great time. I look forward to next month when we're gone for longer!

Schoolhouse Rock

2011-08-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

First day of school today. Bittersweet to be sure. I love having them to myself all summer. But always, without fail, the week before school they start to get antsy. To see their friends, for more structure, etc. And I get antsy to get on a regular schedule, to get a clean house and to get a handle on my ever growing to-do list.

But the first day of school is always pure bliss for all of us. I remember being so excited/anxious/nervous the night before the first day of school when I was younger. I slept poorly imagining the reunions with my friends, my teachers and the like. So fun.

One of the things I love about my kids is they are all so different. It even comes out on the surface with how they dress. Lemme show you what I mean.

Trysten is best described as "skater dude" in dress. He likes plaid/longer shorts and funky shirts. He's got style.

Tomas is obsessed with looking nice. Polos and khakis are the only things he wants on his body. Today all of the polos were dirty so he had to settle on this shirt.

Tariku is pure athleticism. Somebody find this kid a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt that shows his obsession with sports. Stat.

Dailah. Well she's all girl. Today I asked her if she was sure she wanted to wear another dress and she replied, "Only dresses for school, mommy!"

3rd Grader. Smart, funny, sensitive, loving, slightly selfish, quiet.

2nd grader. Smart, life of the party, friends with everyone, silly, hard-freakin-worker, loud.

1st grader. Smart, perfectionist, helpful, caring, hard on himself, loyal.

Kindergartner. Smart, hilarious, social, loving, bossy, best-laugh-ever.

And then there was one. Preschool is up in the air for Binyam. He's going, we just don't know where quite yet. We are waiting to hear from various sources where the best place for this little guy is. Until then, it's just Bini and mommy time.

The Iowa State fair a.k.a Tomas eats his way through Iowa

2011-08-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

I know I mentioned here how generous my parents are, but let's get serious, they are really generous. On Friday they took my kids and me to the Iowa State Fair and spoiled us rotten.

The littles got to ride dirty the many hours we were there. Not "dirty" in the sense that they were hiding crack somewhere on their persons, just "dirty" in the literal sense. They were a couple a pigs in there.

First stop? Food. Obvi. Being a vegetarian at a State Fair where Beef is basically your state bird, color and song makes things complicated. Oh and pork. We have lots of pork too. My dad got 2.

The kids shared a footlong corndog. By "kids" I mean Tomas and Tariku.

Then they washed it down with these. Because why not?

Then, in what was surely the best decision making ever, we went to the Knapp center. This is a place with lots of agricultural education going on. Great place. The problem is that on every TV screen there was birth happening. As in real, slimy, bloody animal birth. The kids were less than impressed.

Tariku was probably the most horrified. At one point he said, "This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen but I can't stop watching!!!"

Dailah was equally mortified at what was to be the future she's always dreamed of (the girl can't wait to give birth...until now perhaps).

Even though it was an educational center, they did have some leanings in their "education".

Clearly that sign was not talking about the overwhelming majority of hens. Mmm, these little guys are the picture of health.

Anywho... where were we? Oh yes. To the big slide. It's really a must do when you have kids. And by that I mean you literally must do it, it's way too much fun. Tomas towards the middle, Dailah and hotflawedmama below him, Tariku almost done and Bini's little body finished first.

This is the part where I almost run over Bini. Notice Dailah's face. Pure joy.

Trysten has been under the weather for a week or so. The only Tyelenol I had were some pills you swallow. It took him about 5 minutes but he did it.

On to the alligator wrestler. For a day that was supposed to be 72 and rainy off and on, it was HOT. Binyam went topless and Dailah went Britney Spears.

It was worth it though, after ~~4 hours~~ an hour the kids got to hold a real live alligator.

Tariku went to the bathroom 4,635,599 times.

Kids got some free loot that has since been mostly trashed.

Tomas ate a turkey leg.

I tried some cheese curds but ended up sharing...with Tomas.

Tomas ate a hot beef sundae.

I shuddered imagining Tariku getting his hands on one of those smoothies.

But ended up getting one for myself and my sister to share. My spirits picked up immediately.

We went on the sky lift. Trysten was with his grandpa most of this week, add to that he didn't feel well, and he just wanted to be around me. And by that I mean mostly on top of me.

We ate ourselves into comas.

Tomas ate some more. This time some of my dad's gyro.

We saw the butter cow. Tomas and Binyam's first time. They were rightfully astonished. Trysten just wanted to eat it.

Just for fun.

Then Binyam's tiny little belly staged a war against all of the fried goodness and we spent some QT in these hell holes.

Alas I found something on a stick I could enjoy. A PBJ.

We ended the night with the kids at the lego tent.

It was a really awesome day. The kids held up well despite being there for over 8 hours. After they got a final corndog and piece of pizza my parents took them home so that my sister and I could hang out with old friends. See? Generous.

Unpack your backpack

2011-08-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night the 4 kiddos heading to Elementary school had their "Unpack your backpack" night. They get to meet their teachers, see some of their friends and....unpack their backpack.

First Dailah. The kindergartner. Someone hold me.

Tariku. 1st grader. Gulp.

A book in Tariku's class. I love this school. Love, love, love.

Tomas the 2nd grader. More excited than any human ever. About anything. Ever.

Trysten leading the pack in 3rd grade. Nervous, excited. Lawdy.

The younger 3 all got teachers that we've had before, which we were so thankful for. They are proven to be amazing, hard working, loving people. Trysten's we know nothing about but we know he, of any of them, needs the least amount of "great teaching", though he still deserves it obviously.

Almost time!

to keep my mind

2011-08-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

off of the fact that my eldest is in St. Louis with my father-in-law for a grandpa/grandson bonding trip and off the fact that I miss him, I'm going to post pictures of some irresistible cuteness. Consider yourself warned.

Sunday we celebrated My father-in-law's birthday and his and my mom-in-law's anniversary. First by some snuggling...of adults.

and then some of adults/kids. Or just me and Doozie.

Tomas fed baby Cash his sucker.

and Dailah was just Dailah.

birthday man dolled out suckers.

Jake vacuumed the carpet for no apparent reason.

Serious

Serious again

Zach dressed up Julio. Hilarious.

Cool dude

Terre sewed them matching dresses. Adorable.

OK I almost forgot about Trysten for a few minutes. But now I'm remembering again and am sad. :) Maybe another blog post will help?

but before that

2011-08-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

we went to the fairgrounds to eat some deliciousness. It was hot. ~~Balls~~ Super hot.

Zach made the executive decision to take the bigs (along with my nephew Oliver and Papa Frank) golfing. Remember I talked about us having family huddles? Yeah, Zach has them too.

The littles (with my other nephew Elihu) went on a few errands and then arrived back at Elihu's house. Baby Sinta was sleeping but as soon as she woke up the camera couldn't help but take lots of pictures of her.

Still so good to have her home, and see her do normal kid things like use the blanket storage as a pretend bed. Love her.

The first sleepover

2011-08-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

Dailah got invited to her first sleepover Monday night. She was so excited to spend the night with her "sisters".

There were tales of bubbles baths, movies and popcorn. Dailah was overjoyed that Maggie and Emma let her pick everything they played, did and watched. She had an amazing time.

These two friends of hers are the very, very best. So happy she has them in her life.

Barbershop

2011-07-31T19:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend one of Zach's oldest buddies came over with his daughter. Before he left he called Zach and asked him if he should bring his clippers. Since Tomas didn't comb his hair all week while at camp, Zach thought it'd be a good idea.

So Cory brought his clippers and set up a barbershop on our front porch. Tomas before.

Tomas during

And Tomas after. He looks so old so brace yourselves.

While the boys were cutting hair I took the kiddos, and Cory's ridiculously beautiful daughter, swimming. She is seriously beautiful.

That inspired Zach to cut Binyam's hair as well. Well...it wasn't so much Zach that noticed, it was just that when Binyam walked out of his room this morning he looked like this:

You question me?

So yeah it was time. Zach set the barbershop mood with some music.

Put on his favorite shirt of mine and got to work.

I was amazed at the difference in Binyam's hair (left) and Tomas's (right).

And after. Settle down, ladies.

Tariku said, in no uncertain terms, "hail no you aren't cutting my hair". Trysten said "I'm not cutting mine until I'm in 4th grade" (he's just going into 3rd). And Dailah begged Zach to cut hers. We stuck with these two first.

Love them.

They are home

2011-07-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

right now all of my babies are slumbering peacefully under our roof and I just couldn't be happier about that.

I've had the flu for a few days...not the way I wanted to spend "The week of Tesi" but it was what it was. The boys are home and the sounds of their voices has put a salve on my rather irritable belly.

The littles and I headed up to the lodge early so that I could get front row. I needed to see the bigs, badly. That meant we were there early, so we entertained ourselves by taking pictures.

Then Doozie turned the camera on her 'rents.

Then they were the first ones to come in. They were beaming..or maybe it was just the reflection off my beam. (Trysten is holding up his patch, Tomas is hiding behind him).

Bad picture of Tariku but you get the idea.

Their cabin got up and did a little song and dance. I know I'm partial but I'm pretty certain mine were the cutest. (PS the other white kid on the far left with the green shirt is not mine. He looks like he could be, but I assure you my kids end with Tariku).

Here with their counselors, Keys and Nacho. Trysten has had Nacho for the last 3 years. Nacho is amazing. I cannot say enough good things about him.

I had to get a picture of them 1) being cute and 2) being nasty. Seriously, can you smell them from your computer screen? Because you probably could if you really tried.

And look at me. I'd been dealing with flu symptoms for the last few days. Can you even tell here? Man, I love them.

I cannot stress enough how great a good camp can be for kids.

Trysten got a chance to just be a kid. Before I dropped him off I told him "I don't want you to be responsible for your brothers. I don't want you to be the oldest kid, I just want you to be a kid. I want you to have fun and meet new friends." Trysten reported that he wore socks only one day. He only wore 2 of his 6 pairs of shorts I sent with him. He didn't brush his teeth at all and he showered every day...by swimming in the pool. That, my friends, is all boy. Trysten also reported that when he got to the cabin he did not act responsible for his brothers at all.

Trysten got the patch for exhibiting the core value of "Caring". His note from his counselor said, "Trysten was a joy to have in the cabin, although at times, he was a bit competitive with his peers. He was always curious and ready to try a new activity." Which, for anyone who knows Trysten, knows this explains him to a T.

Tomas got to be in an environment with a bunch of other kids and a few caretakers. A situation that undoubtedly reminded him of the care center he was in for a year and a half. The difference this time being that he had a family who loved him waiting for him on the other side. The difference this time was that he knew the caretakers were temporary. Tomas appeared to have worn everything we gave him....through mud and water and possibly horse manure. His bag smelled the worst. Tomas didn't comb his hair the entire week and after his shower tonight he was wincing while combing. Tariku looks at him, shrugs his shoulders, "Sorry dude." Brothers.

Tomas got the "respect" patch. His note from his counselors said, "Tomas was awesome to have in the cabin." Anyone who knows Tomas knows that sometimes it's as simple as that. He's a freaking joy to have around.

Tariku I was most nervous about. He's young for overnight camp. As I've mentioned many times here, when his schedule gets off he gets all kinds of scared and exhibits it in any number of ways. When he's tired he cries. A lot. Over nothing. But he did really well. I watched as he clearly took care of some of the kids in his cabin (picking up their backpacks, filling up their water bottles). I also watched as he got to spend time in water sports where surely his natural prowess for all athletics made him feel good. When I saw him tonight he looked at least 2 years older. When I tucked him into bed he started crying that he just wanted to go to camp for another week and be with his friends....he was asleep 1 minute later.

Tariku also got the "respect" patch. His note read, "Tariku was enjoyable to have, although he had a tendency to play rough with his cabin mates. He was always positive and we hope to see him soon!" Yup, they have him pegged too. There was also lots of talk about he and Tomas struggling if they didn't win...which is so true. Tariku reeeeeeeally hates to lose. My babe.

So proud of the boys. So proud of the young men they are becoming. So happy they are home and that they are mine.

Happy Birthday Dailah Leagh

2011-07-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my one and only daughter's birthday. She turned 5. She goes by a lot of names around here "Dobadays" "Doozie" "Doozie booz" "Dailah Leagh a chicksapea", etc. And at any given time, these can be used to describe her perfectly.

We woke the Dobadays up singing Happy Birthday, as we always do. Once I saw that she was hiding from my camera she immediately became Doozie.

Knowing her as well as we do, Zach and I decided we'd let her have a little time with just us before we woke up Binyam (the bigs were still at camp). Her favorite place? The counter as I put my make up on for the day.

For her birthday breakfast she chose super sugar-y cereal. Also known as Cap't Crunch knock offs.

On this morning, despite it being her birthday, I had to pawn her off on Prancer. Zach was working and I had a class to teach so Prancer "volunteered" to drop she and Binyam off at camp. Zach works with some really amazing people. This one specifically I've had the pleasure of befriending over the years. Good people.

When I picked Binyam and the bday girl up early from camp she wanted to change into "a birthday outfit". When I asked to take a picture this is what she did. Doozie.

My parents drove the 2 hours to come see her on her birthday. They also came bearing gifts. This cookie is actually called "The Doozie" in the store. It had to be hers, no?

What's a girl like Dailah love doing almost more than anything else? Manis and Pedis, obvi. So off we went to a nail salon. Myself, mom, my sister and sister-in-law, neice and Binyam. Of course Binyam. Oh boy do I love her.

Dobadays has lots of people who love her.

This is the picture that was supposed to be cute, "oh look, mom and daughter sharing a pedicure tub, precious" but instead it looks like I'm trying to birth her again. Weird.

The bday girl chose blue for her fingernails and purple for her toenails. Great choices.

Doozie booz chose The Corner Grill for her dinner venue...because they serve the kids meals on frisbees (that they then get to keep). While there she got a call from her aunt Kait who lives in Japan. She was super excited about it. Unfortunately I think she may have learned this from me.

Doozer has generous grandparents. Very generous grandparents.

I happen to love this picture because it's Zach and his mini me. The eyelashes, the bronzed skin, the beauty, oh my!

These two might fight to be the first to buy her a car on her 16th. They love her like crazy. Grandpas, the very best.

These two love her like crazy too but will never buy her a new car on her 16th. They might not be the best but they try to be every day.

And these people? Well...not much I can say about them that hasn't been said. It takes a village, it really does.

Dailah is smart and hilarious, she is sweet and spunky, she is playful and endearing. She gives the most amazing hugs and every night asks for a little snuggle time.

Dailah would stay up late and sleep in late if it were up to her (that would be her dad's genes). If she has your ear, she will ask you 20 questions just to learn more about you and more about the world. Dailah never accepts simple answers when she thinks there is more to it. Don't try telling her the easy answer, you're not getting off so easily.

Dailah loves sugar, chocolate and carbs. She really dislikes every veggie and most fruits. Once when she tried a SmartDog, she asked me why I was making her eat dog poop. No. joke.

She continues to love all things girly. Make up, lotion, perfume, accessories, etc. But she'll also be the first one to kill a spider when she sees it. She helps daddy take dead mice off the traps. Shudder.

Truth be told, she is everything I can remember wanting to be as I got older...in a 5-year-old's body. God help me if I don't pray every day that she keeps her strength, her determination, her love of life, her wit. (God also help me if I don't pray every day that I wake up with her eyelashes, but that's neither here nor there).

I love this girl. In the deepest recesses of my body I love her. I'm so thankful for the 5 years we've had and the lifetime still to go.

I call her my angel, because she was the first after our miscarriage. When I wasn't sure if life ever got really good again, she came along. She saved me from that darkness. 5 years ago she came out and went straight into the NICU and I remember that first night sleeping mere minutes. I just kept staring at her. And I prayed over and over, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." That's all that came out the first night with her...and every night since.

Love you, baby girl.

and then there were two

2011-07-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

the bigs took off for resident camp this week. I realize they'll be spending the night mere feet from our house, but that didn't lessen their excitement one bit.

I was actually excited for them as well. Lately they've been getting a little bored at home and I thought this was the perfect way to feed their need for constant movement. Plus, I wholeheartedly believe that every kid should go to camp. Especially these:

These two get to go to day camp this week as well. If you do math as well I as I do you'll surmise that I will be kidless this week. I will admit to being fairly excited about this fact. My to-do list is pages long.

It took but a few minutes from the time I dropped the bigs off for me to gain new energy. Keeping up with 5 kids is different than 2, even if it's only mental from time to time. So with my new vigor I harvested our rather happy (finally some rain!) garden.

And got to work on 4 loaves of zucchini bread. Zach dropped by and asked if I needed some help. He decided he would peel the zucchini. Notice zucchini placement. Perv.

And this picture? Well she was just too cute. The last few months she's decided to pick out her outfits herself. I love that Dailah has her own style that is so uniquely her own. I just go with it. Today's was actually "normal", I can assure you it's not always.

a sampling

2011-07-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

of my grocery list. Please guess which ones are for me and which ones are for Zach:

-whiffle balls
-panini bread
-ground walnuts
-sunflower seeds
-oats
-Frank's hot sauce
-Soy milk
-Tombstones

I freaking love that man. Regardless of the fact that he just asked me if I'm going to be growing my armpit hair out now.

Hotflawedmama as dancing porn star?

2011-07-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I get a Facebook message from Cathy:

"We are playing Dance Party on the Xbox and one of the Avatars is you...if you were a porn star."

I had just one question.

"And how awesome of a dancer am I as a porn star?"

She replied.

"You freaking rock, it's Lily's favorite fly girl."

And somehow that made me feel good.

That somewhere in an alternate universe I am a fantastic porn star-turned fly girl.

On Drought and what to do about it

2011-07-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing about me. I hate when people complain about something and then do nothing about it. I'm not always the best kind of friend to "just listen". If you bring a problem to me, I typically want to either solve it for you or force you to solve it yourself. I don't know what it is about me that's like that.

That's how I feel about this drought. This drought that is affecting my kids's families as well as millions of other brothers and sisters in East Africa. On our iPad my husband has it so that when breaking news happens it gives us a little bell noise. Since I subscribe to many different news outlets related to Africa the iPad has been a tooting with news of this drought. The one that's worse than the one in the 80s. When pop stars wrote songs about it.

This is one of those times that my words just aren't coming. I have no doubt, though, that we got our tax refund back just in time. That it was meant to help this situation. I hope you'll agree on that (with your own money, that is). :)

They said it better (this might be an ongoing list when other well spoken women weigh in on the subject).

Rebekah-she also has ways to help linked on this post, the same organizations I would urge you to support!!!

Cathy

Blueberry's mom

On Camping

2011-07-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

for the last year or so Zach will randomly talk about how he wants to start camping. Since he knows me and knows I'm not what people would call a "camper" I figured he had come up with a clever euphemism for sex.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. He was talking about camping. Like the pitch the tent (again, not talking about sex), sleep on the earth kind of camping.

I wasn't thrilled about this for any number of reasons, especially after my most fabulous weekend when Courtney said she didn't like camping because of "bears, mountain lions, and murderers". Yeah that didn't help. Even though Courtney is funny, skinny, beautiful and smart (these being reasons I generally don't trust a person) there was something in her eyes that made me believe she had legit reasons to be scared of those things.

Alas, I could look into these eyes no longer and say no. And can you blame me? mmmmm

I agreed to take a family "vaca" this fall. A camping "vaca". Lawd help me. Today we decided to get our equipment, including a bigger tent.

The kids have been so excited about the new tent and the thought of going camping. None as excited as Tomas, though, and when I told Zach that Tomas was most thrilled Zach says, rightly so, "That's how Tomas approaches everything in life. With complete and total excitement." So. freaking. true. Tent set up, check. Kids break dancing in said tent? Check.

I'll be the first to admit that one of the only reasons I agreed to our camping expedition was for the new socks and shoes. I've been campaigning for SmartWool socks for something close to a year. And if mama's gonna be a camper, mama might as well be a hiker. I think I look like a camper/hiker here, no?

In all actuality I'm rather excited for this weekend in end of August when I ~~take 4 Zanax~~ pack up the car with what will certainly be too much stuff and venture out into the wild. New shoes and all. Wish us luck with all things, but most especially the murderers.

This morning

2011-07-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

I woke up earlier than everyone else per usual. I had gotten a pretty exciting phone call on Tuesday letting us know our tax refund was going to be released by Friday (most adoptive parents claiming the adoption tax refund were "audited" as it were, we were stuck in that for these last months). As both Zach and I are the "we'll believe it when we see it" kind of people, we checked our account every ~~15 minutes~~ hour.

This morning at 6:35am it was there. I waited until 7:30 to wake Zach up and deliver the good news.

Then at about 8:30 we sat down in his office and paid bills.

All of them. Cars, school loans, doctors, all of them.

It means one thing.

WE ARE DEBT FREE!!!!!

A huge day for us. It's been a long time coming. It's been mentioned here before that Zach and I were a little reckless with our finances when first starting out as a married couple with (then) 2 incomes.

Since coming home from Ethiopia, everything changed. What the hell were we doing trying to keep up with the Joneses? And who the hell are the Joneses anyway?

It was then that we created a pretty strict budget and, more or less, have stuck with it (and even made it stricter from time to time!) for the last 4 years. We whittled down a lot of our past mistakes and gave little toasts to each big bill we paid off.

Today, was just that multiplied. Writing "paid in full" on some of our larger bills? Oh my.

Nothing exciting happening since getting out of debt. I don't think it's a coincidence that we now no longer want stuff just to have stuff and now is the first time in our married lives when we can afford stuff.

I know people don't like to talk about money, I know that. But I'm doing it today to let you know that if you're in over your heads, it's not impossible to get out. Believe that. If we can do it, so can you, I promise. But it's going to take so much work, and probably a lot of time. You let me know and I'll pray for you, I'll support you and I'll love you through it.

Cuz it's so worth it. Holy cow is it worth it. I've been debt free for 12 hours and I'm quite convinced I'll sleep pretty well tonight.

Hallelu!

Good stuff

2011-07-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

this week's been crazy busy. Learning new stuff for my classes (and re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) has really left little time to blog.

But I've still been reading some amazing stuff. This woman is on a roll with a really amazing series on caring for the poor, etc.

So read every link from the first to the most recent.

Go here. Tell me what you think.

I'll see you after I successfully launch my classes and come out from under the covers after watching Harry Potter.

a few things you should know about me

2011-07-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

When I was gearing up to meet the ladies last weekend I really had to give myself a pep talk. I can sometimes be a little...much. I can talk a lot, my laugh is really loud, I have some nervous ticks that my husband agreed would be best to let out slowly.

One of those ticks would be my hypoglycemia. To make a long story short, if mama doesn't get fed every 2 hours I start sweating, getting dizzy and, on occasion, pass out. It's not fun. Because my flight was delayed an hour and half I got to Denver at noon (1pm CST) instead of the 10:30 I was supposed to. About an hour into the flight I started noticing I was super hungry. As we were landing I had one hand fanning my face and the other hand on the puke bag. I asked the flight attendant for a juice or something and proceeded to chug a can of Orange Juice.

Still not feeling the best, I met Jayme. She told me Deirdre had prepared a nice lunch for us. So I held off feeding the beast. The problem with hypoglycemia is if you wait too long then when you do eat, you end up feeling worse at first.

Enter Tesi at Deirdre's. I was quiet, sweaty, nervous and ill. I downed 2 glasses of water in hopes that I could regulate my blood sugar just enough to eat some food.

I'm not sure what happened the first hour I was there. Seriously.

Before we left for Cathy's I heard Jayme tell her kids "We won't be stopping so go pee now!" I got the message and went to the bathroom myself.

We got in the car, and, you guessed it, 30 minutes in and I needed to pee.

But I had new friends who didn't know just how small my bladder had become. They also didn't know my true personality yet as they'd only seen hypoglycemic Tesi and that biatch ain't pretty.

So I held it.

Until I started sweating again and my belly had gotten so large I thought it might pop my outfit.

My new friends were very sweet and kept their eyes peeled for exits (I can only assume it's because they are considerably more proper than I am. As I noted in text to Zach, "I don't think these women speak in contractions!"). I kept my eyes peeled for bushes.

There wasn't any of either.

Until there was one, bush that is. So even though I had to cross the highway, cross a smaller highway and avoid the railroad tracks, the bush looked like best case scenario.

Sarah documented the process.

Behind the middle bush you can just make out a PG photo of me "popping a squat". In a 1 piece jumper. If you do the math you will realize that I was both topless (with bra) and bottomless. Keepin' it classy.

Elapsed time 10 minutes.

And then I must navigate my way down the super dry bush. I did not do so successfully, I ended up impaling my foot on a bone no joke. Worth it.

Sweet success.

You will be happy to know my new friends didn't drive away and leave me, though they did tease me all weekend about my sorry excuse for a bladder, which is exactly what I look for in friends.

Blogaramagaga Weekend

2011-07-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

One of the most frustrating things for me is not being able to verbalize all that's going on in my head. At least not do it well and not do it justice. That's how this weekend was. It was an amazing weekend. Amazing. The women in this group (and men and children) were beyond my wildest dreams awesome. They were funny, smart, loving, supportive and absolutely beautiful. They were also a bunch of hippies who didn't wear deodorant but that's besides the point. :) I made a lot of new friends this weekend, new friends that I can't wait to see again.

Colorado was beautiful. Cathy's home was beautiful. This was the view from her porch. Mountains in the back. Amazing. Cathy already wrote a blog post about the weekend here. She must be missing it as much as I am.

Cathy started to get to work on dinner. This is why she was a better hostess than I'll ever be. Tombstone pizzas would've been a staple with me, not so much with her. She was brilliant the whole weekend. This fresh salad was proof of her greatness.

We got some plastic cups and a Sharpie to kick it old school. Chandra got distracted and instead of putting her name wrote "Colorado". She is too much goodness.

Reason #2 why I love her...she broke her glasses. So her hubby put her lenses in some safety goggles. That was months ago and she never went and got glasses. She rocks it. She might be the only girl in the world who could make it easy for me to stay up until 4am (which she did). Love her.

We played with each other's kids.

And stalked them like the paparazzi. Sweet Matthew, I love him.

We went on hikes.

We drank a lot of coffee and caught up on the news. (David, Cathy's husband, was a fantastic man who reminded me much of my brother-in-law, Jake. I took this picture to prove to Leslie just how much he was like Jake.)

We sat around a lot. And laughed. And we cried (actually, I was the only one who cried). And we may or may not have discussed topics ranging from racism to vaginas.

Oh did we laugh.

We showed each other our freakish talents. Notice Deirdre's arm slightly distorted.

We took lots and lots of pictures. Apparently when you start blogging you get either the Canon or the Nikon camera that look exactly alike. I put a hair tie on mine so I'd know which one it was all weekend.

We Chandra and I bought candy. $52 worth of it.

I am now officially riding the coattails of some amazing women. Definitely this one. She.is.incredible.

But these women. Read their blogs, love them from afar because I can attest to the fact that these ladies are the kind of women who run the world in their own little ways. They are the ones who raise amazing kids who turn out to be amazing adults. They are the ones who give women the very best name. They are the ones who lift each other up and who make my heart grow bigger just by knowing them. They are the best of the best. And I am so blessed to have spent just a short weekend with them. Can't wait until next year!

(From left to right. Back row: Rebekah, Amanda, Jayme, Deirdre, Carrie, Bridget. Front row: Courtney, Cathy, Chandra, Hotflawedmama, Sarah)

Adventureland

2011-07-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

Since I can't quite put my weekend into words yet, I'll talk about Adventureland. Which happened on Thursday. Feels like weeks ago. Was so much fun. So.much.fun.

Something I do often. The Klipsch huddle. Before we go places I talk to them about expectations (how I expect them to behave and what they can plan on the day looking like) and then we get together and either do a "team" or a "klipsch" cheer. It's a goofy way to let them know the rules, etc. Love that my mom took a picture of it.

First stop always, merry go round.

Tomas, having never been on a rollercoaster decided the Space Shot would be a good place to start. Gulp. He loved it.

On to the kiddy version of the Space Shot. Tomas hated it, weak sauce, uninterested. He cracks me up.

Water rides. Heat advisory warning made water rides essential.

Other fun rides/ fun times.

Trysten in front of the Dragon. My first time on it as well as the big 3's. Trysten is too much like me in that when he's scared he ~~screams, freaks out, balls his head off~~ panics ever so slightly. Mean mama made him do lots of things he was scared to do that day but he pushed through and was very proud of himself in the end.

Adley was so cute. Always is.

Time for the water park. It was so hot. And so fun.

Bini ended up falling asleep.

Then my dad joined him.

I took the bigs down the green slide. Scary. Thrilling. Wedgie inducing. Loved it.

Last ride of the night. The ferris wheel.

My kids are at an amazing age for a day like this. From 10am to 8pm they did amazingly well. And I loved every second. My parents are generous to make this an annual thing and the kids have an awesome time. How lucky am I? Really.